


The Snake Trap

by Pisces_writings



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eye Gouging, Fluff and Angst, Gore, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Stabbing, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Trauma, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:34:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisces_writings/pseuds/Pisces_writings
Summary: Remus is bored, so he kidnaps Janus. But perhaps there are deeper reasons for all of it.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 45
Kudos: 182





	1. Ends and Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the warnings and tags. It gets gory.

Janus slowly opened his eyes. He was leaning against a wooden pole in a dimly lit room. He turned his head to glance out of the window. He seemed to be in a tall tower. The tops of the trees were green, but some were bare, their branches looking like black spikes against the green sky. 

Janus blinked. 

Green sky? 

He must be in the imagination. Remus's side to be precise. He could see vultures circling around the treetops, their cries sounded like the screech of metal against metal. 

Definitely Remus's side. 

He tried to stand up and immediately fell back down. His hands were tied to the wooden pole. 

_I guess I'm not getting up anytime soon._ He thought absentmindedly. 

"Oh, you're awake!" He heard a voice on his left say. 

He spun his head around and saw Remus leaning against a wall. 

Janus sighed, "Could you untie me?" He asked. "And perhaps explain what I'm doing here?"

Remus walked over and sat down in front of him. "No can do for the first question." He said. "As for the second one, I knocked you out and dragged you here." 

Janus rolled his eyes, "Of course you did. Why?"

Remus shrugged, "Bored." 

Janus felt his blood run cold. He'd seen Remus bored before. It never ended well. One time he had gone to Roman's half of the imagination and brutally killed a dragon, then dragged it's remains to Roman's room. Another time he had caused Virgi to wake up in a pitch black room, unable to move or speak. They had found him a few days later. Janus liked to think that was responsible for him leaving to the light sides. He was only partially correct. 

Janus tried to keep his voice steady, "So? Do you need my help in tormenting someone?" 

Remus laughed, "No! Then I wouldn't have kidnapped you! I decided that you're gonna be my entertainment this time!" 

Janus stared at him, "What do you mean?" 

He could hear the fear in his own voice, and tried to push it down. _Remus wouldn't actually hurt me, right?_

Remus took out a knife and started twirling it between his fingers, "There are a couple things I want to try." He said. "You seemed like the best option. The others have too many people who would get mad at me, but you only have me!" He smiled. "You have no one to run to!" 

Thoughts were racing through Janus's head. He managed to take a deep breath, "Remus, let me go." He said. He tried to add some intimidation to his voice, but it hardly sounded convincing. 

Remus seemed to consider it, "No, I don't think I will." He said. "I'm really bored, Janus. And anyway, you won't mind too much, right? I mean, any damage I do probably won't last. Well maybe emotional damage will, but that's all part of the fun!" 

Janus stared at him. Then he managed a smile, "You can't be serious." He said. "Whatever you're planning can't be that bad. You wouldn't actually hurt me." 

Remus looked confused. Then he shrugged, "Well what's your definition of bad? I'm sure I'll exceed that anyway."

_He's seriously planning to hurt me._

"Remus, this is ridiculous." Janus said quickly. "What are you planning to do?"

Remus smiled, "I can't tell you, that'll ruin it!" 

"Remus, let me out." 

"Or what?" Asked Remus. "You'll tell Virgil? Yeah, I'm sure he'll care." 

Janus felt a pain in his chest at the mention of the other side. Something must have changed in his expression, because Remus smiled again. 

"So that works against you." He muttered. "I'll keep that in mind."

_There's no way I'm going to be able to reason with him._ Janus realized. _If I can just get my hands free. . ._ He started to struggle against the rope. 

Remus frowned at him, "Hey, don't do that, it took a while to tie it!" He complained. He sighed. "I guess I'll just have to use something else." 

He took out a long thin knife. Janus flinched away at the sight of it. Remus smirked and then cut the rope holding his hands together. 

Janus stared at him, "You're letting me go?" He asked in disbelief. 

Remus laughed, but didn't answer him. Instead he took Janus's gloves off and threw them to the side. Janus tried to pull his hands away but Remus's grip was like steel. He carefully examined the scales that covered the back of Janus's left hands. 

"I don't remember you having scales here." He muttered. He looked at Janus, "How'd that happen?" 

Janus glared at him, but didn't answer. 

Remus shrugged. Then he placed Janus's hands on top of each other, and pushed them above his head and onto the poll. He flashed Janus a quick smile, then stabbed the knife through both his hands and into the wood, pinning them in place. 

Janus let out a strangled scream as he felt the metal go through his hands. He tried to move them but was greeted with more pain. 

Remus giggled, "That was a fun reaction." His eyes widened in excitement. "Do you think I could make you scream even louder?" 

Janus's eyes widened and he shook his head desperately. That made Remus laugh.

"Aw, are you scared of me?" He said. "Are you scared of what I'll do?" 

Janus tried to move away from him, but it was useless. His breathing quickened as he felt his fear rise even higher.

Janus took a deep breath as he tried to form a coherent sentence. 

"Remus, please." He managed. "We can do whatever you want. Just please stop, okay?"

"This is what I want." Interrupted Remus

Janus swallowed. _What is he going to do to me?_ "Please let me go."

Remus smiled, "But this is fun!" He said. "And what do you have to worry about? It's not like you can die. Plus, I've never seen you like this! You look so scared!" Remus frowned. "I can't see your face like this." He muttered. 

He pulled Janus's hat off and threw it across the room. He yanked Janus forward, causing him to gasp from the pain in his hands. He examined Janus's face and smiled. 

"I love seeing fear in your eyes." He said wistfully. 

Janus looked Remus in the eye. "Let me go, Remus." He said, the anguish clear in his voice. "Please."

Remus froze for a moment. Then he pushed him away, causing his head to smash into the poll. 

"Stop begging, will you?" He sounded annoyed. "It's getting on my nerves, we're not even halfway done yet!" 

Remus tilted Janus's head up and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "What should I do next?" He wondered. Then his eyes lit up with an idea. 

He traced his fingers against the scales on Janus's face, then slowly moved his fingers up to his eye. 

"You know, I always wanted to examine that eye of yours closer." He said. 

Then he grabbed Janus by the hair and dug two fingers into his eye socket. Janus bit his lip to stop himself from screaming as Remus gouged his eye out. Remus finally wrenched his hand away, now holding a bloody eyeball. 

He examined it with delight. "Would you look at that." He mused. "You really do have a slit pupil." 

He glanced back at Janus, who was now hanging limply from the poll. Remus grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back to look at his face. 

He smiled, "Aw, you're crying." He said, his voice dripping with false sympathy. "Too bad you didn't scream much. I do love hearing you scream." 

Janus didn't answer. Instead staring at him with his remaining eye. 

"Say something!" Remus yelled, pushing his head into the poll. 

Janus grimaced. Then he looked up and met Remus's eyes. "What do you want me to say?" He asked shakily. 

Remus smiled, "Oh, I don't know, surprise me." 

Remus ran a knife against Janus's throat, leaving a thin trail of blood. 

Janus whimpered as Remus cut slightly deeper. 

"Finally you're actually making a sound." Remus commented. "But I still haven't heard you fully scream yet." 

_Why did I ever think that he cared about me?_

"Remus?" Said Janus quietly. 

Remus smiled, "What is it?" 

"Please let me go." Said Janus. "I'll do anything. Just please stop." 

Remus raised an eyebrow, "Anything?" 

"Anything."

Remus smiled. "Okay, I want you to scream for me when I hurt you. If you do that, then I might consider letting you go." 

Janus stared at him, then he nodded slowly. 

"You're being so agreeable!" Said Remus. "It's amazing what a little pain can do to someone." 

Remus looked at him for a moment, as if considering what to do. Then he moved Janus's cape out of the way, unbuttoned his shirt and drove his knife into the area right above Janus's heart. He continued to cut around it, and this time Janus screamed. Remus continued stabbing into his flesh, then pushed his hands in and broke two of his ribs, giving himself easier access to everything underneath. He dug and stabbed through layers of muscle until he finally wrapped his hand around Janus's heart and pulled as hard as he could, yanking it out of his ribcage. 

At this point Janus was horse from screaming. He had tears streaming down his face. _At least I can't die._ He thought as he started to slip into unconsciousness. 

He felt Remus slap him across the face, "No falling asleep yet!" He chided. He held up his hand, which was holding Janus's bloody heart. "Look I have your heart!" He said. "Isn't that romantic?" 

Janus could hardly see him as his vision continued to blur. 

Remus rolled his eyes, "Say something will you?" 

Janus looked up at him and managed three words. "I hate you." 

Remus stared at him. Then he smirked, "I'm sure that won't last long." He said. "I mean, who else do you have?" He smiled. "One thing before you pass out." He added. 

He grabbed Janus by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a rough kiss. Janus froze. He wanted to pull away, but he was too weak to move. He'd kissed Remus before, but this was different. This time he was completely helpless. 

He hated it. 

After a few minutes Remus let go of him. "Alright, I'll let you rest now." He said. 

Then everything went dark. 

* * *

Janus woke up on the floor of the tower. He quickly looked down at his chest and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was healed. In place of the damage Remus had caused were several pink scares and a lot of dried blood. He reached up and felt his eye. That hadn't healed yet. He looked down at his hands and saw large puncture wounds in the middle of each palm. 

_The important stuff must have healed first._

Janus sat up and winced. _My ribs are probably still partially broken._ He looked around at the room. There was blood everywhere. _Did he just leave me here?_ Not that he was surprised. 

He still couldn't believe what Remus had done. He stared down at his hands, and then up at the poll. There was a splatter of blood where Remus had stabbed him. He shakily buttoned his shirt, which was, like everything else, covered in his own blood. He winced as his hands began to bleed. _I guess I moved them too much._

He gathered his gloves and hat and quickly put them on. Now he had to get back to his room before anyone could see him. He positioned his hair so that it was mostly covering his missing eye, and began walking down the flights of stairs. He was expecting to run into Remus at every turn, but never saw him. After much painful walking he made it down to the bottom. He knew his way around the imagination, so he quickly made his way out and into one of the hallways of the mind palace. 

He looked around and realized that he was in the part that belonged to the light sides. 

"Just my luck." He muttered. 

He started to walk down the seemingly endless hallways to his room. Everything was fine, until someone saw him. 

"Deceit?" 

Janus spun around, his hand going up to cover his missing eye, and ended up face to face with Virgil. 

The look on Virgil's face quickly changed from one of distaste to horror, "What happened to you?" He asked. 

Janus took a couple steps back, then after a moment's consideration turned and ran to his room. He didn't relax until he was safely inside with the door closed behind him. He was about to lock the door, when he went into a coughing fit. A few moments later he straightened up to find blood splattered all over his gloves. He sighed. Running probably hadn't been the best idea. 

He took off his gloves, hat, and cape, and grabbed a roll of bandages from his cabinet. He washed the blood off of his hands and began to bandage them. That was when four people burst into his room. 

He jumped up to find Patton, Roman, Logan, and Virgil in his doorway. 

Patton gasped, "It's worse than you described." He said. 

Virgil nodded. 

Janus took a step away from them, "What are you doing here?" He asked. He had meant to sound intimidating. Sadly he just sounded scared. 

"Virgil told us that he had seen you in a. . . Worrying state." Explained Logan. "We decided to check on you." 

Janus frowned, "Why would you want to check on me?" 

"Because you're covered in blood." Said Roman. 

Patton walked up to him and brushed the hair out of his face, causing Janus to instinctively flinch away. Patton froze. 

"Your eye." He said. His face turned dead serious. "How did this happen?" 

"Remus." Said Virgil. 

Janus stared at him. How did he know? 

"Remus?" Asked Roman. "Why would he- "

"It was him, wasn't it?" Continued Virgil. 

Janus nodded slowly. 

Virgil muttered something under his breath. 

"I'm not saying you're wrong," said Roman, "but why should we believe him?" 

"I can tell when he's lying." Said Virgil. "He isn't." 

Roman frowned, "But Remus and him are friends." He said. "So why would he do that?" 

Virgil crossed his arms, "I wouldn't put it past Remus to hurt his friends." 

Patton quickly moved out of the way as Virgil walked up to him. He examined Janus's missing eye and his expression softened. 

He smiled, "We should probably get you cleaned up." 

He gently took Janus's hand and led him to the bathroom, then closed the door behind them and sat Janus down. He took Janus's partially bandaged hand and frowned.

"Do you know how to bandage things?" 

Janus shook his head. Virgil nodded and quickly undid the bandages. As soon as he finished undoing them he froze. 

He slowly looked up at Janus, "Since when do you have scales on your hand?" 

Janus didn't answer. Virgil frowned, then started to rebandage his hand. 

"Why are you helping me?" Janus asked after a minute. 

Virgil didn't look up, "I know how it feels to be hurt by Remus." He stated. 

Janus nodded, "Right." He paused. "I was under the impression that you hated me." 

Virgil shrugged, "I wouldn't say I hate you." He said. "But. . . Well, you know. We both made mistakes while I was still with you and. . . " He didn't finish his sentence. He seemed to be trying to avoid Remus's name. "And seeing you like this," He added, "all scared and stuff, it just doesn't sit right with me, you know? It doesn't seem right. Especially for you." 

Janus half smiled, "I look scared? I thought I was hiding it quite well."

Virgil looked up at him, "Have you heard your voice? You sound shaky. And you can't keep eye contact." 

Janus looked away from him, proving his point. 

Virgil stood up, "Anyway, I'm done with your hands, but we still need to deal with your face." 

Virgil wetted a washcloth and started wiping the blood away, careful to avoid the hole where Janus's eye was supposed to be. After he finished, he quickly bandaged it up. 

Virgil stepped back to admire his handy work, "Good as new." He said. "Come on, see for yourself." 

Janus stood up, and looked in the mirror. There were bandages covering a large part of his face, but at least he wasn't covered in blood anymore. 

Virgil smiled, "It's funny, you look a lot like you did before I left." 

Janus frowned, "I'm pretty sure I had two eyes then." 

Virgil rolled his eyes, "That's not what I meant." He said. "You don't have your gloves. Or your cape. And you don't look as intimidating." 

Janus raised his eyebrow, "Is that a complement or not? I'm thoroughly confused." 

Virgil smirked, "Well I see you got some of your insufferability back. That's a good sign." 

Janus laughed. He was surprised by how shaky it sounded. Also by how much it hurt. He immediately started coughing up blood. 

Virgil stared at him, "What did he do to you?" 

Janus straightened up and wiped the blood from his mouth, "Let's see, he stabbed my hands to a pole, gouged my eye out, broke my ribs, quite literally ripped my heart out, and. . . " He swallowed as he remembered the last thing that Remus had done. "That's it." He said quickly. 

Virgil frowned, "You're definitely lying, but I won't press you." He blinked. "Wait, he ripped your heart out?" 

Janus nodded. 

Virgil's eyes widened, "Please tell me that's all healed." 

"Just a few scars left." Janus assured him. 

Virgil nodded, "I assume there's a lot of blood also?"

"You really don't need to worry about that." 

"Stay here." Said Virgil. 

He walked out of the bathroom and arrived a moment later holding a bundle of clothing, "Okay, now we have to clean the rest of the blood off of you." 

Janus sighed, "This is ridiculous, Virgil. I can do it myself." 

"I don't trust you to do that." 

"I can take care of myself. I'm not a child." 

Virgil glared at him, "Just like you took care of yourself with Remus?" 

Janus stared at the floor.

Virgil's expression softened, "Shit, Deceit, I'm sorry." 

"It's fine."

"No it's not. I shouldn't have said it like that. It's not your fault that he- "

"Virgil." 

Virgil blinked, "Yeah?" 

"It's fine." 

Virgil managed a small smile, "Right. Sorry. Anyway, I need to get the rest of the blood off of you. Also make sure that you're not lying about the whole," He motioned to Janus's chest, "you know, being healed." 

He started to unbutton Janus's shirt. He froze. "Sorry, this is really weird." He looked at Janus. "Do you wanna do this part yourself?"

Janus sighed, "Yes. But I still think it's unnecessary" 

He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off. Virgil sat him back down and examined the scares. 

"Well, it looked like it's healing fine." He said. 

"How do you know so much about dealing with this stuff?" Asked Janus.

Virgil froze. He turned and grabbed a clean washcloth. "Anyway, we should get this blood off of you." He said, clearly changing the subject. 

After a few minutes he was done. He stood up and washed off his hands. 

"I'll be outside." He said. "You change." 

He felt Janus alone in the bathroom. 

A couple minutes later Janus walked out to see the other four still hanging out in his room. 

Patton smiled at him, "Well you look a whole lot better!" He said. 

Janus managed a half-hearted smile. 

"Deceit? Er, Janus? said Roman. "In light of what has happened, I apologize for what I said when. . . Well, you know. The whole name thing." 

Janus nodded, "Thank you, but I should apologize as well. You're nothing like Remus."

Roman blinked. Then a smile slowly crept across his face, "Well now I definitely know that. Also, I will fight him for you if necessary." 

Janus shook his head, "I appreciate the gesture, but it's fine. Seriously." 

Roman nodded, but still looked like he was ready to battle his brother to the death if need be. 

"Oh, and Janus?" Said Patton. "If you want to talk about what happened, we're always here." 

Janus shook his head quickly, "Not now." 

Patton smiled, "Right. Whenever you're ready. 

Virgil glanced at the others. "Hey, do you think I could talk to him alone?" He asked. 

Patton jumped up, "Of course!" He said.

Roman opened his mouth to say something but Patton shot him a look and dragged him and Logan from the room. 

After Virgil was sure that they were gone, he walked up to Janus. Then he wrapped his arms around him in a hug. 

Janus froze. After a few moments Virgil let go of him.

"I missed you." He admitted. 

Janus stared at him, "You missed me?" 

Virgil nodded, "Yeah. And yes I know it's kind of ridiculous to miss you after everything that happened between us. " He sighed, "I can't believe I'm even considering this. I promised myself I'd never do this but now that all this has happened. . . "

Janus frowned, "Considering what? What are you talking about?" 

Virgil sighed, "Can we start over?" He asked. "As friends? It'll probably end terribly but- "

"Virgil, no." Interrupted Janus. "You're not thinking. You're most likely doing this out of pity. You really don't need to, alright? I've hurt you in the past and- "

"Oh shut up, will you?" Virgil sighed. "I'll admit. You are really annoying sometimes. And sure, you did hurt me before. But the situation is different now. Remus hurt you. Badly. Sure, Patton has started to accept you, but Remus was the only person you were actually close to. Are you seriously going to start opening up to Patton, now? It took you forever to even talk to me. And even then you hardly told me anything. Remus is probably counting on you being isolated for whatever he's gonna do next. So you know what? If being your friend messes up whatever plans he has, then I'm willing to risk it." 

Janus stared at him for a moment, then he shook his head. "You're being ridiculous. After everything I've done, you seriously think that- "

"Janus." 

Janus froze at the sound of his name. Then very slowly, he started to smile. "I haven't heard you say that in years." He said. 

Virgil looked at him sadly, "And I haven't seen you smile like that since before I left. I'll admit I kind of missed it." He sighed, "When's the last time you've actually been happy?" 

Janus didn't answer him. 

Virgil held out his hand, "Come on, you want to try this whole friendship thing or not?" 

Janus hesitated. Then he took Virgil's hand. "Alright, let's give it a try. But if I started acting like- "

"Then I'll drag Patton into it." Said Virgil. "Or something equally worse."

Virgil led him to his bed and sat down, "Come on." He said. "I'm sure we have a lot to catch up on." 


	2. Secrets And Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, mind the warnings and tags. There's stuff mentioned.

An hour later they were still lying on Janus's bed, talking about various things. 

"Once Roman made us put on an entire show of Hamlet." Virgil said. 

Janus smiled, "I can't say I'm surprised." 

"It went terribly." 

Janus laughed, but made himself stop as he felt a shooting pain in his ribs. 

Virgil sighed, "I missed talking to you. We used to do this for hours, remember?" 

"Back in the good old days." Janus agreed. He frowned. "Well, maybe not good."

Virgil nodded, "Yeah it wasn't exactly good for me." 

Janus was silent. 

"Janus?" Asked Virgil, sitting up. "You were fine then, right? I mean, at least until I left." 

Janus sat up to be at his level, but didn't meet his eyes. ". . . Yes." 

"Liar." 

Janus flinched, and Virgil immediately felt a pang of regret. 

"Sorry." He said quickly. "I didn't mean- "

"It's fine." Said Janus. "You're used to calling me that at this point." 

Virgil sighed, "I really am. But Janus, if this is going to work, you're going to have to stop lying to me." 

Janus nodded, "I know. it's just a reflex at this point." 

"Right." Virgil paused. "I thought you were fine when we were together, but obviously that wasn't the case. Do you want to tell me what actually happened?" 

Janus shook his head, "Not now." 

Virgil nodded, "I won't push you." He said. "Can I ask you something else?" He added after a moment. 

Janus nodded. 

"The scales on your hand." Said Virgil. "You didn't have them before I left. What were you denying so much that made that happen again?" 

Janus hesitated for a moment, he was beginning to regret telling Virgil how his scales worked all those years ago. The truth was, that whenever he was denying something to himself or other people for a very long time, the scales would appear on a different part of his body. It had only happened a few times. 

"Well," He began. "After you left, for a while I was denying that I still. . . " He swallowed. "That I still loved you." He said quietly. "That's the reason I started wearing gloves in the first place." He glanced up at Virgil. "Obviously I don't love you anymore." He said quickly. "But after you left, for a while I did." 

Virgil frowned. He looked like he was about to say something, but instead just nodded. "Right." 

Janus sighed, "You don't believe me, do you?" 

"Of course I believe you." Virgil said quickly. "Just. . . "

"Not completely." Janus finished.

Virgil crossed his arms, "How are you still good at reading me?" 

Janus shrugged, "You haven't changed as much as you think." 

Virgil blinked, "I. . . I changed a bit, right?" 

Janus sighed, "Think about it, Virgil." He said. "This whole conversation. We're acting like we did before you started hanging out with the light sides. The only things that really changed were your relationships with everyone. With them you started acting like you used to do with me and. . . " He faltered, then quickly continued, "And you started treating me like you did them. Well, slightly worse, honestly."

"Sorry about that, by the way." 

Janus shook his head, "There's no need to apologize. You had every right to be angry with me." 

Virgil looked skeptical, "Really? Maybe if I had actually tried to have a normal conversation with you it wouldn't have happened." 

"Do you think I would have actually listened to you?" Asked Janus. 

Virgil crossed his arms, "Maybe not, but if I had told you why what you were doing was bothering me- "

"You didn't have to tell me that." Interrupted Janus. "I knew that I was being controlling, and I knew that I was suffocating you."

Virgil stared at him, "You did?" 

"Of course I did. You're forgetting that I'm good at reading you." 

Virgil looked confused, "Then why did you do it?" 

Janus frowned, "I guess I thought it would work. I thought that if I held you tight enough you would stay. But that just drove you farther away, didn't it?" Janus smiled sadly. "If I had acted differently you wouldn't have left."

Virgi was quiet for a moment. "You only realized this after I left, right?" He asked. "I mean, that what you were doing was causing me to want to leave."

Janus nodded, "Well yes, I didn't know that, otherwise I wouldn't have done it in the first place." He frowned. "Well, perhaps I knew a bit, but I ignored it. Even after you left I didn't figure it out for a while."

"You didn't?" 

"Remus. . . " Janus faltered. "Remus pointed it out to me." 

Virgil stared at him, "Remus?" He said in disbelief. "Did he even know what was happening?"

Janus laughed bitterly. "You seriously think he didn't hear us arguing almost every day?" He asked. "He knew more than you think."

Virgil blinked. His gaze slowly sank to the floor. "He heard us?" He said quietly. "That. . . That couldn't have been good for him." 

"It wasn't." Janus took a shaky breath, "After you left, well. . . I was a mess. He was trying to comfort me, but he also said that I probably caused you to leave. He said that if I hadn't been so controlling you would probably still be there. He was right, obviously, but part of me keeps thinking, he heard us fighting for what, months? And I'm the reason you left. Maybe. . . " He stared down at his bandaged hands. "Maybe I deserved this." 

Virgil was silent for a moment. Then he grabbed Janus by his shoulders. "Janus, look at me." He ordered. "Nothing you did could have made you deserve this. Sure, he heard us arguing, and sure, you're the reason I left, but those things were directed at me, not him. If I'm not taking this sort of revenge on you, then neither should he. And anyway, it's not like you were arguing with him." 

Janus was silent. 

Virgil frowned, "Did you argue with him?" 

It took a minute for Janus to answer. "Well, not then," He started. "But a week ago I. . . I raised my voice at him, I was angry about some stupid thing and. . . " He sighed. "He actually flinched away from me. If we messed him up so badly that he was scared of me as soon as I raised my voice then. . . Then he was probably right to hurt me." 

"Janus," Virgil began quietly. "You. . . " He sighed. "He wasn't right to do any of this, okay? And you definitely didn't deserve it. Even if you yelled at him, arguments happen. That doesn't mean that he should do all this to you. And even if you caused me to leave, and even. . . Even if us arguing did do something to him, you didn't deserve this."

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, "You seriously believe that?" 

"You would know if I'm lying." 

Janus looked at him for a moment, "I guess I am an expert on lies." 

Virgil smiled, "Exactly. So you know that I'm not." 

"Yeah." 

Virgil frowned at him, "Your tone is weird." 

Janus blinked, "What?" 

"You sound sad." Virgil shook his head. "No, that's not right. You sound like you're trying not to convey any emotion. What are you hiding?" 

Janus stared at the wall. ". . . Nothing." 

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him, "Well that's a lie if I've ever heard one. Come on, you can tell me." 

Janus thought for a moment, "I'm hiding a lot of things from you." He began. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Anywhere." 

Janus sighed, "Alright. Well I can start by saying that I didn't tell you everything that happened with Remus." 

Virgil nodded for him to go on. 

"Right before I passed out he. . . " Janus's voice died in his throat. He took a deep breath then continued. "He kissed me, and. . . " He stared down at his hands. "I felt so helpless. I couldn't move, I could hardly even speak, and that's when I realized he. . . He could do whatever he wanted to me. I was at his mercy. And part of me thought, what if- " He stared down at the bed sheets. "What if he did something other than just that? Or what if, while I was asleep. . . I would never know." 

Virgil stared at him, "Oh god, Janus. . . " He reached out to hug him then stopped. "Sorry, can I?" 

Janus practically melted into his arms. He stayed there for a while, listening to the rhythmic patterns of Virgil's heartbeat. Then a memory flashed in his head, and he pushed him away, nearly falling backwards into the bed. 

Virgil moved away from him, "Janus?" He asked quietly. "Are you okay?"

Janus straightened up quickly, "Yes." He lied. "I was just. . . Remembering something." 

Virgil nodded, "Remus?" 

"No, not that." Janus's eyes widened and he clamped his hand over his mouth, silencing himself. 

Surprise flashed across Virgil's face. Then he moved forward and carefully took Janus's hand away from his mouth. 

"It's okay." He said calmly. "You can tell me." 

Janus shook his head. 

Virgil thought for a moment, "Is it about the thing you mentioned earlier?" He asked. "About how things weren't good on your side of the relationship either?" 

Janus nodded slowly. 

Horror slowly seeped into Virgil's face, "What did I do?" He asked quietly. 

Janus's focus snapped back to the boy in front of him, "You didn't do anything!" He said quickly. "It was completely my fault. If I had just been truthful with you, it wouldn't have happened." 

"Then be truthful with me now." 

"I. . . " Janus faltered. "Alright." He swallowed, then began. "When we started dating, I was always scared of you leaving. I don't know why, but I kept thinking that you would get tired of me, or that I would do something wrong and then you wouldn't want me around anymore. So I decided that if I just agreed with you all the time, I could stop that from happening. When you started hanging out with the light sides, I realized it hadn't worked, so I changed tactics, but before that. . . " He paused. "It didn't really cause any problems for a while," He continued, "but then I started lying to you about. . . About what I wanted." 

Virgil looked confused. "What do you mean?" 

"I. . . " Janus closed his eyes and took a breath. "I mean that when we would. . . When- " He swallowed. "I would just do whatever you wanted even if I didn't want to- " He shook his head. He looked like he was holding back tears. "I felt like if I. . . If I said no to you. . . " His voice died in his throat. 

Virgil's eyes widened in realization, "Janus, you don't mean. . . "

He watched Janus give him a short nod. 

Virgil stared at the bed sheets. "Even if you didn't want to, you. . . " He looked up at him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry- "

"No." Janus interrupted. His voice sounded shaky. "It's not your fault. I told you I was fine with it."

"But I should have noticed if something was wrong! I shouldn have noticed if you didn't want to- "

"How would you have known if I never told you?" 

"But. . . " Virgil faltered. "But I can tell when you're lying. How did I not know? Did I just ignore it?" 

"Virgil- "

"I was your boyfriend, Janus! I was supposed to take care of you! I was supposed to make you feel loved! Not make you feel like you had to do everything I asked! And not- not force you into doing things you didn't want! I. . . " He could feel tears building up in his eyes. "I was a terrible boyfriend." 

Janus shook his head, "No, you weren't. You had no way to know, Virgil. You were amazing, if I had just been truthful it wouldn't have happened." 

Virgil stared at him. "You actually believe that." He said in disbelief. "I made you feel. . . Like that, and then I left. And now. . . " He wiped a tear from his cheek. "I'm sorry." 

Janus took his hand. "You're forgetting something." 

"What?" 

"How I treated you later. You're acting like I did nothing wrong, but you had every reason to leave. I was controlling, and manipulative, and. . . and I knew I was doing that. You had no idea." 

"But- "

"But you should have noticed. Maybe you're right. But how would you have? I told you that it was fine." 

"I made you feel like you couldn't say no." 

Janus sighed, "That's true. But Virgil, we both made mistakes. We both weren't great to each other. I guess in the end, we're both wrecks." 

Virgil smiled weakly, "At least I was the kind of wreckage that you loved." 

Janus laughed softly, "At least there's that." 

Virgil sighed, "Is there anything else you're keeping from me?" 

"Yes. But I think that was enough for one night." 

Virgil nodded, "Yeah, I guess it was." He glanced up at Janus. "Sorry, you ended up having to comfort me about that." 

Janus shrugged, "I don't mind it. But now that all that is out in the open. I suppose we can start to move on." 

Virgil frowned, "Move on? We can't just forget about it." 

Janus blinked, "You're right." He said. "But we can try to have a better relationship from now on. Maybe this time we should actually communicate." 

Virgil nodded, "Yeah, that would probably be a good idea." He said. "Did we even talk about this kind of stuff when we were together?" 

"Probably not." Janus admitted. 

"That's changing." Said Virgil. "I'm not going anywhere, so no more lying."

Janus smiled, "Alright, Storm Cloud." He froze. "I haven't called you that in years." 

Virgil crossed his arms, "That's changing as well, I missed your nicknames. They're way better than Roman's." 

Janus rolled his eye, "Well, obviously. Mine aren't meant to make fun of you." 

Virgil laughed, then glanced over at a clock. "It's getting late." He said. "We should both sleep." 

He stood up to leave, but Janus grabbed his hand, his eyes suddenly filling with fear. 

"What if Remus comes here?" He asked. 

Virgil sat back down on his bed, "I can put a charm on your room so that he can't get in. Roman taught me how, and it's worked on mine before so I don't see why it wouldn't work on yours." 

Janus nodded. "Thanks." He said. 

Virgil got up again and walked to the door. "Good night." He said. "Get some rest, okay?" 

"Do you want to stay here for the night?" Janus blurted before he could stop himself. 

Virgil stared at him for a moment. Then he walked back over to his bed and sat down. 

"Sure." He said. 

Janus smiled, "Thanks. I just don't really want to be alone." 

"There's no need to thank me." Said Virgil. "But we really should go to sleep." 

Janus laughed, "I guess you're right." 

* * *

Janus woke up the next day to find himself curled up in Virgil's arms. He carefully extracted himself and gently nudged the other boy awake. Virgil sat up groggily and looked confused for a second. 

"Where. . . " He blinked. "Oh, right." He looked at Janus. "Right." He said again, glancing around nervously. 

Janus frowned, "Are you alright?" 

Virgil nodded, "Yeah. I'm just remembering last night's conversation. I. . . " He looked back at Janus. "I'm sorry. Again." 

Janus brushed Virgil's hair in behind his ear, "Shh," He said, "it's okay, my- " He faltered and pulled away. 

Virgil blinked, "What was that?" 

"Nothing." Said Janus quickly. 

Virgil frowned, "You're definitely lying, but I'll let it slide."

"We should probably get changed." Janus said, eager to change the subject. 

"Yeah." 

After they were both dressed Virgil insisted on changing Janus's bandages. 

"I can do it myself." Janus complained for what seemed like the hundredth time. 

Virgil rolled his eyes as he started to unwrap Janus's hands. "Sure you can."

Janus sighed, "How do you even know how to do all this in the first place? You seem like an expert." 

Virgil didn't answer. 

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, "Alright then, keep your secrets." 

Virgil finished with the bandages and started to examine Janus's hands, "They seem mostly healed." 

Janus looked down at his hands. There were pink scares where Remus had stabbed him. He looked at the back of his left hand to find that his scales had parted around the stab wound.

"That looks a bit weird." He muttered. 

Virgil continued to stare at his hand, "Did your scales grow?" He asked. 

Janus froze. _Shit._ He pulled his hand away from Virgil. "You're probably just imagining it. I mean, you could hardly see them yesterday with all the blood." 

Virgil looked skeptical but didn't press farther. "Right." He said. "We should probably check on your eye." 

He carefully took the bandages off of Janus's eye and inspected the damage, "It's definitely better." He commented. "But it's not completely healed yet." 

He rewrapped his eye and stood up. "Should we go have breakfast?" 

Janus glanced nervously at the door, "What if Remus shows up?" 

"Then Roman will probably kick him back to the imagination." Virgil assured him. 

Janus managed a small smile. "Alright, let's go." 

They walked to the dinning room of the mindscape to find Patton serving waffles. The moral side's face lit up when he saw them. 

"You came!" He said. "I made food!" 

Virgil and Janus settled into their chairs as Patton served everyone heaping piles of waffles. 

"So, Janus. How are you doing?" Asked Patton once everyone had started eating. 

Janus shrugged, "Fine."

"Falsehood." Said Logan from across the table. "There's no way you could possibly be doing fine after everything that happened." 

Janus sighed, "Well, to tell you the truth Logan, I'm not doing fine. And I probably won't be for a while." 

Logan nodded, clearly not bothered by Janus's tone, and went back to his breakfast. 

Virgil nudged Janus and silently conveyed a message. _Are you okay?_ Janus shrugged in response. When Janus glanced up again he found Roman giving him a look. 

"Can I help you?" He asked. 

Roman blinked, "Oh. Sorry. It's just weird seeing you two get along." He said, causing Patton to elbow him. "Ow! What was that for?" He complained. "You have to admit it's a little weird to see." 

Patton shrugged, "Well they used to get along. So it's not too weird." 

Roman frowned and went back to devouring his waffles. 

That was when they heard a voice from across the room, "Well, look at this happy bunch. Did no one invite me?" 

They turned to see Remus standing in the doorway. 

Virgil stood up and positioned himself in front of Janus, "What do you want?" He snapped. 

Remus raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you seriously protecting him? Now that's something I never thought I'd see." 

"Get out of here, Remus." Said Roman, who was now standing with his sword in hand. "Don't make me use force." 

Remus looked offended, "Do you really think I'm here to fight you? I just want to talk." 

"Then talk." Said Virgil.

Remus's eyes focused behind Virgil, where Janus shrunk under his gaze. 

"Janus!" Said Remus. "You're not still mad at me right? I know you've moved on by now." 

Virgil stepped forward, "Don't you dare talk to him." 

Remus laughed, "Don't get so protective, Virgil." 

Virgil blinked, "I. . . What?" 

Remus pushed him out of the way and strode up to Janus, "You can't stay mad at me forever." He said. He glanced back at Virgil. "How long do you think it'll take him to leave you again?" 

Janus didn't meet his eyes. 

Remus smirked, "But you don't want to think about that, do you?" He grabbed a knife from the table and used the blade to tilt Janus's chin up towards him. "I'm the only one who won't leave you and you know it." 

Suddenly Remus had Roman's sword at his throat. 

"Get close to him again, and I'll run this through you." The prince snapped. 

Remus smiled at him, "Defending the villain now, are we?" He said. Then he turned and left the room. 

Virgil rushed over to Janus and pulled him into a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let him get close to you." 

Janus gently pulled away from him, then grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room. He didn't turn to look at Virgil until they were safely back in his room. 

"Janus?" Virgil asked softly. 

Janus pulled him into a hug and immediately broke down into tears. Virgil led him to his bed and sat down, making sure not to let go of him. 

"It's okay." He said quietly. "I won't let him get near you again. I promise." 

After a few minutes Janus pulled away from him and wiped away his tears. 

He looked up at Virgil, "You promise?" 

"Of course." 

Janus nodded. He paused, "As soon as he came into the room I just froze up. I was completely helpless. Again." 

Virgil took his hand, "It's okay." He reassured him. "I'll be here to protect you, and so will everyone else." 

Janus pulled him into another hug, "Thanks." He muttered. 

Virgil wrapped his arms around the smaller side. "You don't need to thank me." 

Janus nodded. They stayed there for what seemed like forever. Janus tried to focus on the sound of Virgil's heartbeat, or his breathing, or anything but Remus. 

Janus pulled away from him. 

Virgil frowned, "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." Janus lied. "I was just thinking." 

"About?" Virgil prompted. 

"Just about, you know. Everything. Remus." 

Virgil nodded, "Do you want to talk about it?" 

Janus shrugged, "What's there to talk about? If I'm not around one of you then I'm completely helpless. He can do whatever he wants." Janus shivered. "It's not like I can stop him." 

Virgil frowned, "Maybe you can."

"How?" Janus asked skeptically. "You saw me. I couldn't do anything." 

"Yeah, but. . . " Virgil sighed. "I don't know." 

Janus shivered again, and wrapped his arms around himself. 

"Are you cold?" Virgil asked. "That's the second time you've shivered."

Janus nodded. 

Virgil stood up, "I'll get you a sweater." 

He walked over to Janus's dresser and began to try and find a sweater. 

Janus froze when he realized what Virgil was doing, "Wait," He said, "I can- "

"What's this?" 

_Shit._

Virgil turned around. In his hands was a black hoodie with grey stripes. "Is this. . . " He stared at it. "Is this my hoodie from before I left?" 

Janus nodded. 

Virgil looked at him, "Why do you have it?" 

Janus stared at the floor. "I found it in your old room." He explained. "I never had the heart to get rid of it." 

"Oh." Virgil said. "Right." He stuffed it back in the drawer and pulled out a soft, yellow sweater. He sat back down on the bed and handed it to Janus. 

"Thanks." Janus muttered, putting it on.

Virgil nodded and glanced back at the drawer. 

"Why did you leave it?" Asked Janus. "I was always wondering that. You could've easily taken it with you." 

Virgil shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I wanted to leave all memories of this behind."

Janus frowned. "All of them?" He asked. "I mean, they weren't all bad right?" 

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him, "A lot of them were. And anytime I try to think of them those are the only ones I can really remember."

Janus fiddled with the edge of his sweater, "I still have a lot of good memories from that time." He looked up at Virgil. "I guess we didn't see it the same way." 

Virgil frowned, "I think you try to block out everything that wasn't good." 

Janus blinked, "I. . . Really?" 

Virgil nodded, "I mean, think about it. By the end of it there were hardly any good moments. We were constantly arguing, and even when we weren't there was always that underlying tension. And even before I started hanging out with the light sides. . . Well, you know. All that stuff you told me last night was going on." 

Janus shook his head, "No." 

"No?" 

"Sure, there was lots of that, but there were also plenty of good moments. Remember when we used to explore the imagination? Or when we- "

"Janus?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You're crying." 

Janus blinked, "I. . . What?" He wiped a tear off of his face. "That's weird."

"Are you okay?" Virgil asked him. 

"Yeah." Janus said nodding. "I don't know why that happened."

"Maybe we should do something to distract us." Virgil suggested.

Janus frowned, "What do you mean?"

"We're constantly talking about stuff like this." Explained Virgil. "And it's good that we're talking, but maybe talking about it constantly isn't." 

Janus nodded, "What do you want to do instead?"

Virgil shrugged and grabbed a book off of Janus's shelf, "I don't think I remember the last time I've read a book." 

Janus laughed, "Really? Well I've definitely got some good ones here." 

He stood up and started pulling various books off of the shelf, handing them to Virgil.

"How to tell if someone is lying?" Virgil questioned, reading off the title of one.

Janus grabbed it back, "Actually, I don't think you need that one." 

Virgil rolled his eyes, "Come on, the only reason I know when you're lying is that you have some obvious tells." 

"Which are?" Promoted Janus.

"I'm not gonna tell you, then you'll stop doing them."

Virgil took something that looked like an old drawing notebook off of the shelf, "Is this yours?" He asked as he started to flip through it. "I didn't know you drew." 

Janus's eyes widened. 

Virgil froze. "Oh." He said quietly. 

The pictures were surprisingly sophisticated for a notebook that had to be almost twenty years old, or perhaps even older. There were incredibly detailed dragons, and castles that looked like they were almost coming off of the page. There were pictures of fields of flowers, and caves full of crystals. But later things started to go wrong. The pictures started to get darker. There were drawings of cities burned to the ground, or of animals being brutally killed. Pages that had been ripped out or scribed over. 

Virgil looked up at Janus, who was trying not to meet his eyes, "Creativity." He said.

Janus nodded. 

Creativity. The person Roman and Remus had been before the split. 

Virgil put the drawing notebook back on the shelf. 

Janus sighed, "Well I guess you were going to find that eventually." 

Virgil nodded, "Did he give it to you?" 

"More like I took it." 

"Why?" 

Janus shrugged, "I guess I thought that if he had nothing to draw on. . . It was stupid. And it obviously didn't work." 

Virgil nudged Janus, "You tried your best. It's not your fault that he split." 

Janus sighed, "I guess."

Virgil grabbed a random book off of the shelf, "Come on, let's read something. It'll be fun." 

They sat on the bed for the next few hours reading various books. Virgil kept getting bored after a few pages and switching books. 

Janus rolled his eyes when he did it for the fifth time. 

"What?" Asked Virgil. "They're all about philosophy. I hear enough about that from Logan." 

Janus laughed, "There's some fiction." 

"Really? Cause I have yet to see any."

"Other than the one you're holding, obviously." 

Virgil blinked and looked down at the book in his hands. "Right." 

"Were you even paying attention to what you were reading?" 

"No." 

"You know if you're bored, we can always do something else."

"No, it's not that." Virgil said quickly. "I was just thinking."

"About?" 

Virgil was about to say something, then stopped himself. "No." He said. "I know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work. We're not talking about feelings right now." 

Janus sighed, "Fine." 

They ended up staying in Janus's room for the rest of the day. 

When it was getting late Virgil turned to Janus, "I should probably get going." He said. 

He started to get up but Janus grabbed his wrist. 

"Stay?" 

Vigil smiled, "Of course." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a long one.


	3. Rekindling

Janus woke up to find himself, once again, curled up in Virgil's arms. He pulled away, careful not to wake him. He looked at the boy asleep in front of him. He really was beautiful. Janus reached out and brushed his hair away from his face. 

Virgil opened his eyes, "Finally." 

Janus pulled his hand back, "How long were you awake?" 

Virgil sat up, "At least half an hour." 

Janus felt his face redden, "Right." 

After they got dressed Virgil insisted on changing Janus's bandages again. He unwrapped his eye and smiled. 

"It healed. Can you see?" 

Janus nodded and looked in the mirror. It looked the same as his eye had looked previously, a yellow iris with a slit pupil, but instead of white, the sclera was now a light purple. 

"That's. . . weird." He muttered. 

* * *

After breakfast the two of them were sitting in Janus's room. 

"What did you want to do today?" Asked Virgil. 

Janus shrugged. 

Virgil thought for a moment. Then a smile slowly crept onto his face. 

"Remember when we used to hang out in the imagination?" 

Janus nodded, "Yes. But that was on Remus's side." 

"We should go to Roman's." 

"Would he let us?" 

Virgil considered it. "We could break in." He suggested. 

Janus smiled, "I'm starting to like this idea." But the expression on his face quickly turned to worry. "Won't Remus be able to find us there?" 

"I'm pretty sure he can only get into Roman's side of it if he gets permission." Virgil assured him. 

Janus nodded, "Alright. Let's go."

It didn't take them long to find an entrance to Roman's side of the imagination. There was a door right next to Roman's room. 

"How do we get in?" Wondered Virgil. 

Janus smiled, "I wonder if this still works." He muttered.

He stepped forward, placed his hand on the door, and muttered something under his breath. The door swung open. Janus turned back to Virgil and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Shall we?" 

Virgil stared at him, "Are you okay?" He asked. "How did you even do that?" 

Janus shrugged, "I didn't know if it would work or not. But I don't think that Remus or Roman know how to change that feature. Or even know it exists." 

Virgil frowned, "You're hiding something from me." 

Janus laughed, "Of course I am." 

The imagination was amazing. There were rolling hills covered in lush, green grass, steep mountains that shone in the sunlight, ponds that sparkled with every color of the rainbow were filled with red flowers that would occasionally float in the breeze.

"Have you ever been here before?" Janus asked. 

"Once." Said Virgil. "What about you?" 

Janus shook his head, "Not Roman's side exactly, no." 

Virgil nodded, then something else caught his eye, "What's that?" 

Janus frowned at the clump of rocks he was pointing at. "It looks like a cave."

They walked in and immediately gasped. The walls of the cave were covered in multicolored, glowing crystals that caused colorful light to dance through the cave. 

"This is amazing." Said Virgil quietly. 

Janus glanced at the Virgil and was met with an even greater sight than the glowing crystals. Virgil's hair was brushed out of his face, and the light from the crystals was causing his eyes to look like whirlpools of color. He was smiling, and looking around the cave in disbelief, the colors in his eyes changing any time he moved. 

Janus reached out and brushed Virgil's hair behind his ear. He froze. Then he quickly pulled his hand away and took a step back. 

Virgil sighed, "There you go again." 

"What?" 

"You're always pulling away." Virgil stated. "Like you're trying not to get close to me."

Janus glanced away from him, "Sorry." 

"It's fine." Virgil said quickly. "You don't need to apologize. It's just. . . " He took Janus's hand. "You don't need to pull away every time, okay?" 

Janus desperately hoped that the multicolored light hid the fact that he was blushing. 

Virgil smiled, "Come on." 

He led Janus through the cave, stopping at various crystals on the way. Not that Janus was really paying attention to any of them. They spent an hour wandering the cave, until they finally found an exit, which led out into an open field filled with wildflowers. 

Virgil glanced up at the sky, "How is the sun already setting?" 

Janus shrugged, "Time moves weirdly in the imagination." 

A smile slowly formed on Virgil's face, "I'll race you to the bottom of the hill."

Virgil took off down the hill and Janus raced after him. It was steeper than either of them had realized. Janus ended up tripping and stumbling into Virgil, causing them both to fall down onto the soft grass. Soon they were both laughing.

Janus glanced at the other boy and smiled. The sun was reflecting in his eyes, causing them to sparkle, and the light breeze made his hair flutter around his face. Before he could stop himself, he rolled on top of Virgil and kissed him quickly on the lips. 

He froze when he realized what he had just done. Virgil stared up at him with wide eyes. 

Janus stood up and took a step away from him. 

Vigil sat up on the grass, "Janus?" He asked. "What was that about?"

Janus didn't respond. Instead he turned and ran as fast as he could, out of the imagination. He ran down various halls until he was far away, and far from his room. That would obviously be one of the first places Virgil would look. 

_ If he even wants to look for me.  _

He sat down on the floor and tried to catch his breath.  _ What did I do?  _ He put his head in his hands.  _ I ruined everything. Again. Why did I-  _

"Hi Janus." 

He froze as the voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see Remus standing over him.

He tried to back away as Remus sat down in front of him, but he was already against the wall. 

"Where are your protectors?" Remus asked. "I thought Virgil doesn't let you out of his sight anymore."

Janus swallowed and stayed silent. 

That was a mistake. Remus grabbed Janus by the hair and smashed his head against the wall, "Say something, already!" 

Janus tried to steady his breathing, that was beginning to speed up. 

"Your eye healed." Commented Remus. "I can't say I'm too happy about the purple." He sighed. "It would be a shame if I stabbed it out again."

"Please don't." Janus managed. 

Remus smiled. "You realize no one's gonna find us here, right? I can do whatever I want to you." 

Janus stared at the ceiling, "Someone will find me." 

"Really? What if I cut out your vocal chords so that you can't scream?" 

Janus couldn't meet his eyes. Panic started to seize him.  _ Why didn't I just go to my room? I would have been safe in there.  _

"I think I will cut out your vocal chords. That'll be fun, won't it?" 

That was when Janus heard a voice from the other side of the hall. 

"Get away from him." 

He looked around to see Roman stepping towards them, his sword drawn. 

Remus stood up and glared at his twin. He looked back at Janus. "You got off easy this time." Then he turned and left. 

Roman rushed over to Janus and sat down in front of him, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" 

Janus let out a shaky breath, "He didn't really hurt me, no." 

Roman nodded, "Where's Virgil?" He asked. "He should know better than to let you go around alone." 

Janus cringed as he remembered why he had run away from him. 

Roman looked concerned, "You didn't argue or something, right?" 

"No, of course we didn't!" Janus said quickly. "We just- or I-" He sighed. "I did something I probably shouldn't have." 

Roman moved so that he was sitting down next to him, "You wanna talk about it, or something?" He asked. 

Janus thought about it, "Actually, you might be able to help." 

Roman looked amused at the thought, "Help? I mean unless it's something romantic. . ." He saw the expression on Janus's face. "Oh." 

Janus nodded. 

"So, what happened, exactly?" 

Janus sighed, "Well before Virgil left the dark sides we were dating for quite some time." He frowned. "You don't look surprised." 

Roman shrugged, "Well it was obvious that you guys had some sort of history."

"Was it?" 

"Very." 

"Hm." After a moment, Janus continued. "Anyway it was fine before he started hanging out with you guys, but after that it started to get downhill. I was controlling, and. . . Let's just say he had every reason to want to leave." 

"But you guys made up, right?" Promoted Roman. 

"Well, yeah. But now we're just friends. But when we were in the imagination- "

"You were in the imagination?" Roman interrupted. 

Janus nodded, "When we were there I. . . I don't know. I looked at him and then. . . " He sighed. "I kissed him, Roman. After everything that's happened. We were finally friends again, he finally trusted me, and then I kissed him. What does that make me? He'll think I'm just trying to manipulate him again." 

Roman didn't answer for a moment. Then he turned to Janus, "Well, are you?"

"What?" 

"Are you trying to manipulate him?" 

"Well. . . No." 

Roman shrugged, "So tell him that. He can tell if you're lying or not, so it's not like he won't believe you." 

Janus sighed. "Sure, but then what?" 

"What do you mean?"

"What am I supposed to tell him after that?"

Roman didn't answer for a moment. "I guess the only option is to tell him the truth." 

Janus laughed, "You seriously expect me to tell him that I'm still in love with him? Cause that's the truth." 

Roman turned to face him, "Well what could go wrong?" 

Janus nearly laughed at him again, "What could go wrong?" He asked. "Several things. I could ruin this whole friendship we have, he could not like me back. . . " He frowned at Roman, who was giving him a look. "What?" 

It was Roman's turn to laugh at him. "Wow, you're blind." 

Janus crossed his arms, "I am not." 

Roman looked at him in disbelief, "Not like you back? Have you seen the way he looks at you?" 

Janus shook his head, "There's no way he could love me after everything I've done to him." 

Roman sighed. "Listen to me, Janus. Developing new feelings can be hard. But rekindling old ones is easier than you think." 

"But- "

"But what? You two have hurt each other in the past, but now you're friends again. I don't see why he wouldn't fall for you. He's already done it once." 

Janus stared at the ground, "You really think- "

"Yes." 

He looked up at Roman, "And if I hurt him again?" 

"You won't. You've learned from your mistakes, right?" 

"I think so." 

"Exactly. Now go admit your undying love for him!" 

Janus sighed, "You're going to be the death of me." 

Roman smiled, "No I won't. I'm helping you live your dream!" 

"My dream of restarting a relationship that ended terribly?"

"Yes. But better this time." 

Janus stood up, "Well if this ends horribly I'm blaming you."

"I will full heartedly accept the blame." 

Janus nodded, "I guess I need to go find him."

Roman stood up, "I'll come with you. You shouldn't be going by yourself." He paused. "I mean, it's not that I don't think you can take care of yourself. I'm sure you're fully capable of doing that. I just don't want- "

"Roman?"

"Yeah?"

"It's fine." 

Roman nodded and they began to walk down the endless hallways towards Janus's room, since that would probably be where they would find Virgil. Turns out they were correct. He was standing outside of Janus's door, looking like he was considering going in. 

"Virgil?" Said Janus. 

Virgil turned to him, and the worry melted off of his face. "There you are!" He said. "You ran off and I thought- " He faltered when he saw Roman. "Oh. Hi." He said.

Roman nodded at him, "I'll leave you to it." He said. Then turned and walked away. 

Virgil glanced around the hall nervously, "Let's go into your room." He said quickly. 

As soon as the door was closed behind them he turned to Janus, "Are you okay?" He asked. "Did anything happen? When you ran off by yourself I kept thinking, what if Remus found you, or something, and if you were alone. . . " He sighed. "Did anything happen?" 

Janus shifted uncomfortably, "Well, he did find me." 

Virgil's expression turned deadly serious. "What did he do?" 

"He didn't do anything!" Janus assured him. "Well, he threatened me a bit, but that was it!"

Virgil sighed, "I shouldn't have let you run off like that. I knew something like that would happen."

"Seriously, I'm fine." Said Janus. "And it's not your fault." 

Virgil didn't look like he believed him, "I can tell it's not fine." He said. "But if you don't want to talk about it right now, that's perfectly okay." 

Janus nodded, "Also, I'm sorry about. . . Well, you know." 

Virgil blinked, "What? I. . . Oh. Oh." Virgil's face quickly turned to a light shade of pink. "Yeah, that." He looked like he was thinking. "Why did you. . .?" 

"I don't know." Said Janus. 

_ Liar.  _

"I wasn't thinking." He continued. "I just saw you and. . . I don't know." 

Virgil didn't say anything. 

"We can just forget about it." Janus said quickly. "It doesn't matter." 

Virgil blinked, "It doesn't?" 

Janus faltered. Was it his imagination or did Virgil look disappointed? "I mean. . . I had no right to do that. It's not like we're dating anymore. And if you want to just pretend it never happened. . . " 

He definitely looked disappointed. 

Virgil looked like he was picking his words carefully. "Do you. . . Do you want to pretend it never happened?" 

"I. . . " He couldn't meet Virgil's eyes. "I don't know." 

_ Liar.  _

Virgil stepped forward, "Janus, look at me."

Janus managed to meet Virgil's gaze. 

"If you want to forget about it, that's fine." Said Virgil. "And if you don't, that's also fine. Whatever you want."

_ Whatever I want.  _

Janus smiled. Well he definitely knew what he wanted. He stared into Virgil's eyes. They seemed to pull him in. He didn't especially feel like stopping them. 

Janus sighed, "I love you." 

Virgil stared at him, "You. . . What?" 

Janus stepped forward and tangled his fingers in Virgil's hair, "You want to know what I want?" He asked. "I want to love you. Again." 

Then he leaned forward and kissed Virgil. This time he wasn't as quick to pull away.

When he finally did, Virgil was smiling at him. 

"Well?" Asked Janus. "Is that a yes?" 

"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Virgil,"but yes. Definitely yes. So are we dating? Again?" 

Janus shrugged, "I guess."

Virgil laughed. "I can't believe I'm actually happy about that. I thought that I got over you." 

"Rekindling old feelings isn't as hard as developing new ones." 

Virgil frowned, "Why do I get the feeling that Roman said that?" 

"Because he did. I was asking him for advice." 

"I see." Virgil sighed. "We're not gonna mess it up this time, alright? We need to actually talk to each other, and say when. . . When we're not okay with something." 

Janus nodded, "You have my word."

Virgil nodded, "I'm pretty sure you're telling the truth." 

Janus brushed Virgil's hair out of his face, "I am."

"Can I kiss you?" 

Janus nodded. Virgil leaned forward and kissed him gently. Janus took note of how different it felt then when they were first together.  _ He's being more gentle with me. Is he scared that he might hurt me?  _

Virgil pulled away from him. He looked very nervous. "If I do something wrong- "

"I'll tell you." 

Virgil nodded. 

"And the same goes for you." Added Janus. 

Virgil smiled, "Trust me, I know." 


	4. Flowers And Thorns

The range of expressions Virgil and Janus received when telling the other sides that they were dating was truly amusing. Logan looked confused and Patton seemed happy, but Roman was something else entirely. 

As soon as they told him, he stood on his chair and announced, "My mission is complete!" 

Patton gave him a confused look, then turned back to Virgil and Janus, "Well, I'm happy for you two." He said. 

Logan nodded, "I'll admit, I don't know much about these things." He said. "But if you both think that this is a good decision, then I fully support you." 

"I'll have to arrange something romantic!" Said Roman dramatically. "Perhaps a boat ride! Or a candlelit dinner!" 

"You really don't need to." Virgil said quickly. 

Janus laughed, "Let him have his fun." 

Roman crossed his arms, "At least someone appreciates my efforts." 

"Come on, I appreciate you." Countered Virgil. 

Roman stood up, "Then off to work I go!" 

Patton looked like he was trying not to laugh. 

* * *

A few hours later, Roman called them into the hall. 

"I've prepared something for you two!" He announced.

Virgil sighed, "You really didn't have to."

Roman rolled his eyes, "Nonsense, my chemically imbalanced romance."

"What did you prepare?" Asked Janus.

Roman smiled, "It's a surprise. But at 6pm, you two need to go to the imagination, and you should be able to find your way from there." 

"Do we get any more details?" Asked Virgil.

"No." 

Virgil shrugged, "Alright. So all we'll need to do is go to the imagination?"

"Yes."

"How do we get in?" 

"Well you seem to have managed that pretty well yourselves before, so I'm sure you could do it again."

* * *

At 6pm they found Roman outside of the imagination. He looked at their outfits and shook his head.

"What?" Asked Virgil.

Roman sighed, "You're dressed casually for my beautifully prepared evening? That won't do."

Before either of them could protest, he dragged them off to his room.

He grabbed something from his dresser and threw it at Janus, who somehow managed to catch it. 

"You can try that on in the bathroom." He said.

As Janus disappeared behind the door, he continued digging through his seemingly endless closet. Occasionally he would take out something, hold it up to Virgil, then shake his head and through it over his shoulder. By the time Janus was finally changed, he still hadn't found anything. 

Janus stepped out of the bathroom, "You look like you're having trouble." He commented. 

Roman sighed and turned to him, "I definitely made the right choice with you, though." 

Virgil turned to Janus and tried to take in his outfit. He had his bowler hat on, but instead of his usual shirt and cape, he had a yellow button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a black vest. 

He smiled at Virgil, "What?" 

Virgil realized he had been staring, "Nothing." He said, quickly looking away. 

"Virgil, heads up!" Roman interrupted their moment by throwing something at Virgil, who scrambled to catch it. Roman pointed at the bathroom door, "Go try that on."

Virgil went into the bathroom, leaving Janus and Roman alone. 

"Thanks, by the way." Said Janus after a moment. 

Roman blinked, "What?" 

"You know, for all this." 

Roman shrugged, "You're welcome. It's not like I had anything better to do." 

"Do I have to wear this?" Came Virgil's voice from the bathroom.

"Yes, you do!" Roman called to him.

Janus looked at him, "What did you put him in?"

Roman shrugged, "Nothing too bad. I decided something simple was best." 

Virgil stepped out of the bathroom wearing a dark purple button down shirt which he had put his hoodie over. 

Roman sighed, "You can't wear your hoodie, Virgil."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

Virgil glared at him, but took it off nonetheless. 

"And you didn't change into the pants I gave you." 

"I'm keeping mine."

Roman looked like he was about to argue, but Janus interrupted him, "I think you look amazing." 

Virgil blinked, "Well, I guess it's okay." He muttered. 

Roman walked them to the imagination and opened the door, "Go ahead!" 

They walked in together. Before Roman could close the door, Virgil turned to him. "Roman?" He said. "Thanks." 

Roman smiled, "No problem." 

They stepped into the imagination and took in the scenery.

"It's very different from last time." Janus noted. 

It was evening. There were glowing lights floating in the air, causing everything to be well lit. The trees had strings of multicolored crystals hanging off of them like fairy lights, there were benches around a fountain that looked like it had liquid gold pouring out of it. 

"Where do we go?" Asked Virgil.

"I'd assume to that table." 

They walked over and sat down. 

"How did Roman do all this?" Virgil wondered. 

Janus shrugged, "You shouldn't underestimate him." 

"But still. . . " Virgil looked around. "This is amazing."

It truly was. Even the table was set with intricacy. There were flowers set in the middle of it. A single yellow rose surrounded by sprigs of lavender. 

"Why would he do all this?" Asked Virgil. 

"Maybe he's trying to make sure it doesn't end badly this time." 

Virgil frowned, "You think so?" 

"Maybe." 

Virgil reached over and took his hand, "Well it's not going to end badly this time." 

"You don't know that." 

Virgil smiled, "Come on, Sweetheart. I'm supposed to be the worrier. Not you."

Janus blinked, "Sweetheart?" 

Virgil turned bright red. "Shut up." 

Not even a minute later food appeared on the table. After they ate, Virgil pointed out a river. They walked along the side of it, holding hands. 

"Hey, Janus?" Asked Virgil, after a few minutes of silence. 

Janus turned to him, "Yeah?" 

Virgil leaned forward and kissed him quickly. 

Janus blinked a few times. "I- um- hm." 

Virgil laughed, "Sorry." 

Janus blinked again, "It's fine. I just wasn't expecting it. You should do that more often." 

"Do what?" 

"Kiss me." 

"Oh." After a moment's consideration, Virgil kissed him again. 

Janus smiled. This, he could get used to. 

They continued on their walk, occasionally pointing out interesting fish in the river, or flowers that floated by. 

"I think I like this a lot better than when we used to go to Remus's side of the imagination." Commented Virgil. 

Janus flinched. 

Too late, Virgil realized his mistake. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said quickly. "I shouldn't have mentioned him- "

"It's fine." Janus interrupted him. 

_Liar._

"No it's not." Said Virgil. "I should know better than to- " He shook his head. "Are you okay?" 

Janus shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe? Probably not." 

Virgil sighed. He took Janus's hands, "How can I help?" 

Janus stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him, "Just hold me." 

"Of course." 

They sat on the grass in each other's arms. Virgil didn't know what to do, so he talked. He talked about the flowers that grew next to the river, he talked about the many times Roman had annoyed him, and all the times he had annoyed him back, he talked about Logan's endless book collection, he talked about the cookies that Patton sometimes made. He talked and talked, describing various things to him, until he realized that he had fallen asleep. 

He looked down at the boy asleep in his arms, "I don't think I can carry you to your room." He said. 

Of course he got no answer. 

He smiled and closed his eyes, "I guess we're staying here." He muttered. 

Soon afterwards, he was asleep. 

* * *

Virgil awoke to find Roman standing over him. 

"There you two are." The prince said. 

Virgil nodded, "We kind of fell asleep here." 

Roman glanced nervously at Janus, who was still asleep, "Is he okay?" 

Virgil sighed, "I don't know. I stupidly mentioned Remus last night." 

Roman nodded, "Yeah, that wasn't smart." 

"Thanks, genius." 

Roman sat down next to him, "You know it's really weird." 

"What?" 

"Seeing him so. . . I don't know, vulnerable? He always seemed so put together." 

"Well he is the self proclaimed Lord of the Lies." 

Roman frowned, "So was all that confidence fake?" 

Virgil shrugged, "Who knows." 

"When do you think he'll wake up?" 

"That I also don't know." 

Roman nodded. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. It was Virgil who finally broke the silence. 

"What if I mess everything up again?" 

Roman looked confused, "Again? I thought it was mostly him the first time." 

"It was kind of both of us. What he was doing was more obvious, but I did some things that. . . " He sighed. "I didn't even know I was doing it. And he keeps saying that it's not my fault and that there was no way I could have known, but. . . I should've known. And part of me keeps thinking, what if something like that happens again? I don't want to hurt him." 

Roman his hand on Virgil's shoulder, "You won't hurt him. I know you won't."

Virgil sighed. "You don't know that. Roman, the things that I did. . . I mean, I didn't know, but still. I can't believe I put him through something like that."

Roman nodded, "You're being very vague and I'm extremely confused, but I will try to help."

Virgil laughed softly, "Thanks. Sorry about the vagueness. It's just that it's not exactly my secret to tell." 

"Right." Roman thought for a moment. "Well look at it this way." He said. "You know what you did, which means that you probably won't do it again, right? You're going to be more careful. And if I know anything about you, you're going to be extra careful." 

"Right. But what if I do something else?" 

"Then you'll fix that." 

Virgil sighed, "But if the damage has already been caused. . . "

"Virgil, listen to me." 

Virgil turned and met his eyes, "Yeah?" 

"Everyone makes mistakes. No one's perfect. But it's going to be better this time, okay? I can sense it." 

Virgil smirked, "Sense it?" 

"Well I do know a thing or two about romance." 

Virgil rolled his eyes, "Right." 

Roman looked offended, "Oh, come on. Are you saying you're more knowledgeable in this field than I am?" 

Virgil pretended to think, "Well, if we go by experience. . . "

Roman glared at him, "We're not going by experience." 

Virgil nodded, "You know what? That's fair. My experience wasn't exactly the best." 

Roman glanced over at Janus, who was still peacefully asleep in Virgil's arms, "Maybe this time it will be." 

Virgil sighed, "Yeah."

Roman smiled, "As Garnet said, 'You are not one person, and you are not two people. You are an experience. Make sure you're a good experience.'" 

"'Now go have fun.'" Virgil finished. 

"Exactly." 

Virgil smiled, but it disappeared from his face just as quickly. "What if Remus. . . If I'm not there to protect him. . . "

"We just have to keep at eye on him." Roman said quickly. 

Virgil sighed, "What if he does something even worse?" 

Roman frowned, "Worse? What could he do that's worse?" 

Virgil didn't answer. 

"Virgil?" Asked Roman. "What are you thinking?" 

Virgil glanced over at Janus to make sure he was asleep. "He didn't tell me right away," Virgil said, lowering his voice, "but after some time he mentioned that Remus. . . kissed him." 

Roman stared at him, "He did what?" He hissed. "I swear, next time I see Remus I'm going to strangle him." 

Virgil nodded, "Agreed. But he mentioned that what if. . . "

Roman's eyes widened, "You don't think he would- "

"Maybe."

The temperature in the imagination dropped by ten degrees. 

Virgil shivered, "Are you doing that?" 

Roman frowned, "Maybe. I mean it's kind of connected to my thoughts, so. . . you know what? We should probably get you out of here." 

"Definitely." Virgil agreed. He looked over at Janus. "I don't want to wake him." 

Roman nodded, "I'm on it."

With a snap of his fingers they were in Janus's room, sitting on his bed. 

"Thanks." Said Virgil. 

"No problem." Roman stood up. "I should probably get going." 

Roman was at the door before Virgil called to him, "Roman?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything." 

Roman smiled, "Any time." 

Then Virgil was left alone with Janus. He glanced over at the sleeping boy next to him. He looked so peaceful. Virgil sighed, _How can I protect him from Remus?_

 _You can't._ Came a response in his head. 

Virgil brushed Janus's hair out of his face, _I can try._

Janus's eyes fluttered open, "Good morning, my little spider." He muttered sleepily. 

Virgil smiled, "I haven't heard that nickname in a while." 

Janus put his head on Virgil's lap and closed his eyes again. 

Virgil nudged him gently, "Come on, you need to get up." 

Janus muttered something about not wanting to. 

Virgil laughed, "Stop being stubborn, snakeface."

Janus frowned, "Your nicknames aren't nearly as romantic." 

"Don't be picky, it's the best you're getting." 

Janus smirked, "You did call me sweetheart yesterday."

"We're not talking about that. Are you getting up or not?" 

Half an hour later they were eating breakfast with Patton, Roman, and Logan. Roman kept glancing around nervously the whole time. Of course Janus noticed.

"Are you alright?" He asked. 

Roman jumped, "Yeah. Obviously. Of course."

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, "That was definitely the truth." 

Logan frowned, "It most certainly wasn't."

"Come on, Roman." Patton looked worried. "Tell us what's wrong."

Roman glanced at Janus, then at Virgil. "It's nothing. Really. I'll tell you later." 

_Oh._

Janus also seemed to understand. "It's about him, isn't it?" He said.

Silence fell over the table. 

Janus sighed, "You don't have to hide it from me. I'm not going to fall apart as soon as you mention his name."

Virgil frowned. "But- "

"I know what you're thinking, but that was different." Janus interrupted. "I was caught off guard."

Roman looked uncomfortable, "I don't know if I should- "

"Do you think it's better if I don't know what's going on?"

Logan nodded, "He's correct. It's probably better for him to be informed and scared than comfortable and ignorant." 

Roman blinked. "I. . . Okay." he glanced at Virgil, then continued. "Well earlier when I was walking back from talking to Virgil, I bumped into Remus. He said. . . He told me that he has something planned. He wouldn't tell me what, but it was obvious that whatever it was, it can't be good."

Virgil stared at the table. "Maybe he was messing with you?" He suggested. 

"Unlikely." Said Logan. "Remus was never the type for deception." 

Janus sighed, "Great. So he's probably planning to do something even worse to me." 

Virgil tentatively took his hand, "It'll be okay. We won't let him- "

Janus pulled his hand away, "Can you stop doing that?"

Virgil blinked, "Stop what?"

"Acting like that. You don't have to constantly protect me."

"But- " 

"I'm not fragile, Virgil!"

Virgil stared at him, "I didn't say- "

Janus jumped up, "But you were thinking it, weren't you? All of you were." 

Patton stood up, "Janus please, we didn't- "

"Shut up!" Janus glared at him. "You don't think I've noticed the way you look at me? All of you act like I'm some glass that could shatter at any moment!"

Virgil stared at him, he hasn't seen Janus this angry in quite some time. 

"Janus. . . "

Before he could say anything more, Janus turned and stormed off. 

Virgil stared after him. He glanced at Patton, "Should I. . . ?"

"Give him some time to cool down." 

Virgil nodded. 

"Well that was entertaining." 

Virgil turned around to see Remus standing at the other side of the room. He walked up to him, and before Remus could say anything, he twisted his hands behind his back. Then he slammed him onto the floor, securing him by pushing his knee up against his back. 

Patton took a step towards him, "Virgil? What are you doing?" 

"I'm making sure that he can't leave until Janus is safely back in his room." 

Remus laughed and twisted his head around to look at him, "You're still trying to protect him?" 

Virgil glared at him, "Why wouldn't I?" 

"Well you wouldn't want to dote over him too much." Remus said. "You might. . . Suffocate him." 

Virgil stared down at him, "I. . . What?" 

"Don't listen to him, Virgil." Roman said, stepping over to him. "He's trying to get to you." 

Remus smiled, "I think I'm succeeding." 

"Shut up." Virgil snapped. 

Remus pouted in mock sympathy, "Is the spider getting agitated?" He asked teasingly. 

"I said, shut up." 

Remus rolled his eyes, "You're no fun." 

Virgil ignored him, and instead turned to Patton, "Do you think Janus got to his room yet?" 

Paton nodded, "Probably. Do you want to go check on him?"

Virgil nodded. Then he paused. "Should I?" 

Remus laughed, "Second guessing yourself already, Virgil?"

Virgil stood up, "Make sure he doesn't leave." He said to Roman. Then he turned and walked to Janus's room. 

He paused outside the door. _Maybe I shouldn't go in. He might still be mad._ He shook his head. _No, I have to. I need to apologize. If he wants me to leave him alone after that, I will._ He knocked on the door and it swung open. 

Janus stared at him from the doorway. "Oh. Hi." He said awkwardly. "Do you want to come in?" 

The two of them sat in Janus's bed. Neither of them spoke. 

"I should apologize- " 

"No." Janus interrupted. "You're fine. I just overreacted." 

Virgil blinked, "No you didn't."

Janus sighed, "Yes I did. You and the others had every right to want to protect me. It's not your fault that you were acting that way." 

"It is." Interjected Virgil. "I should've realized that- "

"There you go again." 

Virgil blinked, "What?" 

"You can't expect to realize when any little thing goes wrong, that's impossible. And it didn't really bother me that much at the beginning. It was nice to have you care about me. But later I started to feel like. . . " He struggled to find the right word. 

"Like I was suffocating you." Finished Virgil. 

Janus frowned, "That sounded like you were parroting someone." 

Virgil winced, "Well after you left Remus showed up." He saw Janus tense up, but continued anyway. "And he said some stuff. . . " He didn't finish his sentence. 

Janus nodded, "So he's the one who said that?" 

"Yeah."

Janus sighed and took Virgil's hand, "Well I wouldn't say suffocating is the right word. You were being overprotective, sure. But you weren't suffocating me."

Virgil smiled, "Really?" 

"Really." 

"That's. . . That's good." 

Janus leaned on Virgil's shoulder, "And I'm definitely not breaking up with you, if you were worried about that." 

Virgil laughed, "I wasn't too worried about it."

"So you have some sense. That's good." 

Virgil rolled his eyes. 


	5. Disguised Advice

Janus was sitting on the couch with Virgil when Logan walked up to him.

"Janus, can I talk to you?" 

Janus looked up at him, "Sure " 

"I meant alone." 

Janus frowned, "Alright." He turned to Virgil, "I'll be back in a minute." He kissed him quickly then followed Logan out of the room.

Logan led him through the halls and into his room. Janus glanced around and quickly took in various details. First of all, Logan's room was very neat, which wasn't surprising. There were several book shelves that all seemed to be organized in alphabetical order and a neat stack of papers on the desk. A star map hung on the wall next to the bed.

"Would you like to sit down?" 

Janus looked over to where Logan was sitting on the bed. After a moment of hesitation he sat down next to him.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked.

"The conversation yesterday."

_ Oh.  _

__ "What about it?"

"I just wanted to know if you're feeling any better."

Janus frowned, "Why are you worried all of a sudden?"

"Well. . . " Logan glanced around nervously. "I know how it feels to not be taken seriously."

Janus blinked. "Oh. Right. Well to answer your question, I am feeling better. It was kind of ridiculous for me to blow up the way I did, anyway. How they were acting wasn't that big of a deal."

Logan crossed his arms, "Do you actually think that, or are you just pretending to make things easier?"

Janus stared at him, "I. . . How did you figure that out?"

"Because I've done the same."

_ Right.  _

Janus sighed, "So what if I'm pretending it doesn't matter? Virgil still knows it bothered me, and he's not being as protective anymore." 

Logan nodded, "That's good, but you can't keep hiding things like that. Eventually it will cause problems."

Janus sighed, "Trust me, I know."

"I'm guessing it has before?" 

"Well, not this time around." 

Logan looked confused, "This time around?" 

"We were dating back when Virgil was with the dark sides."

"I see."

Janus frowned, "How did you not know? Roman said it was obvious." 

To Janus's surprise, Logan looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm not good at picking up on that type of stuff." He said quickly.

Janus couldn't help but laugh. 

Logan frowned, "Is something funny?"

Janus quickly stopped. "Sorry." He said. "It's just. . . you looked so embarrassed."

Logan sighed, "It's been pointed out to me before."

"I see. By Roman?"

"Who else?"

Janus frowned, "Wait. If you're not good with that stuff, then why are you giving me relationship advice?"

Logan rolled his eyes, "I'm giving you logical relationship advice. I'm not dealing with emotional things." He put 'emotional' in air quotes. "That's hardly my department." 

"If you say so." Said Janus. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Logan nodded, "Actually, yes." 

"And it is?" 

"Don't get too dependent on him." 

Janus blinked, "What?"

"Virgil. I've noticed you're always with him."

Janus stared at him, "I'm not dependent on him."

"Aren't you?" 

Janus was silent. 

Logan sighed, "I just want you to be careful. It's not good to be completely dependent on one person. Because then if something happens to them. . . well, you get the idea. You've had your disagreements in the past, and it's improbable that they won't happen again. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Plus, you seem to be lying to make sure nothing bad happens between you two. That isn't a good sign." 

Janus stared at him. Then he laughed dryly, "I thought you aren't good with emotions?" 

"This isn't about emotions." Said Logan. "This is about dependency. Being completely reliant on someone is dangerous. It can be easily taken advantage of."

Janus frowned, "What are you implying?" 

"Remus could use it." Logan paused. "Or Virgil could." 

Janus didn't know why, but as soon as that comment left Logan's mouth he felt white-hot anger surge through him. "Virgil would never take advantage of me." He snapped.

"I'm not saying he would." Logan said calmly. "I'm just saying that he could be able to. There's no reason to be suspicious of him, but dependency can be easily exploited." 

"Right. I'll remember that." 

Logan frowned. "You seem bothered. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that." 

Janus sighed, "It's fine. You're looking out for me. I should be grateful."

Logan nodded, "Keep in mind what I said. And if you ever feel like you're not being taken seriously, just remember that I have always seen you as an equal." 

Janus smiled, "Thanks." 

"Although, you definitely do your job better than me." Logan grumbled. 

Janus elbowed him lightly, "That's not true." 

Logan raised an eyebrow, "That was definitely a lie." 

Janus crossed his arms, "Well there's not much you can do when you're not listened to." 

"I suppose you would know a lot about that." 

"Plenty."

"I guess that's something else we can both relate to." 

Janus nodded, "Not being taken seriously and not being listened to. Sounds fun." 

Logan frowned, "Far from it." He glanced around, "Although it is enjoyable to talk to you, Virgil will be wondering where you are and I have work to do." 

Janus stood up, "Right. Thanks for the advice."

"You're welcome." 

Janus walked to the door, then turned back, "Logan?"

"Yes?"

"Don't overwork yourself." 

Logan rolled his eyes, "You don't need to tell me about self care, Janus." 

"I think I do." 

When Janus returned, Virgil was talking with Patton. 

Patton looked up and smiled at him, "Hi, Janus!" He said excitedly. 

Janus nodded at him and sat down next to Virgil. 

"How are you doing?" Patton asked him.

Janus shrugged, "Fine." 

Janus thought he saw a frown flash across Virgil's face. 

"I'm happy to hear that!" Continued Patton. "Sorry about yesterday."

Janus waved away the comment, "It's alright. I overreacted." 

"Virgil said you were talking to Logan."

Janus nodded, "He gave me relationship advice."

Virgil laughed, "Logan? We're talking about the same person, right?"

Janus shrugged, "I was as surprised as you are."

"So what did he say?" Promoted Patton.

Janus fell silent. He didn't know if he should say. What if Virgil took it the wrong way? Then he remembered what Logan had said about lying in an effort to preserve a relationship. 

"He told me about dependency." Said Janus, careful not to look at Virgil. "And he told me that it could be dangerous to be completely reliant on one person."

He glanced over at Virgil to find him staring at the floor.

Patton, on the other hand, looked confused, "But you're not, right?"

Neither of the other two answered. Patton seemed to understand, and glanced away uncomfortably. 

"So." he said, eager to change the subject. "Do you two have anything planned for today?"

Both Janus and Virgil shook their heads.

"Cool." Said Patton. 

"Hey, Patton?" Said Janus suddenly.

"Yeah?" 

"Why don't you go check on Logan? He might be overworking himself again." 

Patton's expression changed to worry, "Again? Oh, that's not good."

He stood up and hurried off.

Virgil breathed out a sigh of relief, "Oh, thanks God. That was getting awkward."

Janus laughed, "It sure was." 

Virgil turned to him, "What Logan said, about dependency. It had to do with me, right?"

Janus nodded slowly. 

Virgil sighed, "Sorry."

Janus frowned, "It's not your fault."

Virgil nodded. "Right."

"I'm not lying." 

"I know." Virgil sighed. "I just wanted to protect you. But then I did it to much, and now. . . " 

Janus smiled and took his hand, "It's okay, we all make mistakes. It's impossible to have a perfect relationship." 

Virgil nodded, "You're right. Again." 

"I think you mean Logan's right. He's the one who said that."

Virgil smiled, "Of course he did." He shook his head in amusement. "I still can't believe that he gave you relationship advice."

Janus shrugged, "He is more capable than you think. We would probably all be better off if we listened to him more."

Virgil nodded, "I'll keep that in mind." 

Janus smiled and leaned against his shoulder.

"I love you." He muttered quietly.

Virgil kissed him quickly. "I love you too." 

* * *

Later, Virgil was walking through the hallways. An hour ago Roman had said that he needed help with something and pulled Janus away from him. 

"Hey, kiddo!" 

Virgil glanced around to see Patton walking towards him. 

"Hi, Patton. Can I help you?" 

"Yes, actually. I wanted to talk to you." 

Virgil froze. He hated that line. It hardly ever led to something good. 

"Sure." He said, trying to stay casual. "Should we talk inside your room?" 

Patton frowned, "No. How about in the living room?" 

Virgil followed him through the halls until they reached the living room. They sat down on the couch and Virgil nervously fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He asked. 

"I wanted to make sure you're okay." 

Virgil frowned, "What do you mean?" 

Patton shifted nervously, "Well, after the whole argument yesterday, you've been acting differently." 

"Differently?" 

"Yeah. You seem like you're constantly being careful about what you say."

Virgil stared at him. "I. . . I am?" 

Patton shrugged, "I don't know, maybe I'm being silly."

"No." Virgil shook his head. "I probably was. It's just. . . Janus."

"What about him?"

He sighed, "After what he said I've been trying to be less protective of him but. . . I don't know."

Patton put a hand on his shoulder, "Come on, you can tell me." 

"Right." Virgil paused. "I guess I'm just scared I'll mess something up again." 

"How?" 

Virgil laughed, "There are so many ways. And then I keep watching what I do and say to make sure that everything's fine." 

Patton paused for a moment, then turned back to him. "Well, look at it this way." He said. "You can't constantly be going over every little thing you do, it'll exhaust you. You just have to trust yourself to do the right thing." 

Virgil laughed, "Trust myself? That's easier said than done." 

"But Virgil, listen to me. Constantly being scared to say or do the wrong thing isn't healthy." 

Virgil sighed, "So then what do I do? I don't want to hurt him accidentally." 

"Of course you don't." Patton said quickly. "But sometimes you need to put yourself first."

Virgil blinked. "What do you mean?" 

Patton looked like he was considering his words carefully. "I mean," He began, "that if it's causing so much stress for you, then maybe you shouldn't be around him so much." 

It finally dawned on Virgil what Patton was saying. 

He stared at him. "Patton, you can't be serious. Are you saying that I should break up with him?" 

Patton didn't answer for a moment, "Well, I don't know. Maybe? I'm just saying what I think would be best for you." He added quickly. 

Virgil shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. He needs me, especially now." 

Patton frowned, "But didn't it end badly last time? You both hurt each other before, didn't you?" 

Virgil couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Do you seriously think we can't change?" 

"That's not what I'm saying!" Patton said quickly. "I'm sure you could be a great boyfriend if you set your mind to it, but I just don't want either of you to get hurt!" 

Virgil just stared at him, "So you want me to break up with him. And then what? Just leave him heartbroken? Again?" 

"Well, no. But. . . " Patton thought for a moment, "maybe we could find someone else for him. I mean, him and Roman seem to have been getting along well." 

All of Virgil's confusion and pain quickly turned to anger. "You think that Roman would be better than me?" His voice was deadly steady. 

Patton smiled awkwardly, "That's not what I meant, kiddo. I just mean, you know, romance is kind of Romans thing. And Janus needs someone like that. And I'm sure you could do great, but you wouldn't want to get hurt again, right? Or hurt him. And you're constantly worrying about him. That can't be good." 

Virgil stood up. "I can't believe this. I thought you were happy for us." He tried to keep his anger under control. "And to think that you, of all people would- "

"Hey, guys!" Roman danced into the room with Janus close behind him. His face fell as soon as he saw Virgil's expression. "Are we interrupting something?" 

Patton stood up, "Oh no, nothing. I should probably get going." He quickly glanced at Janus. 

Janus's eyes widened. He took a step back. 

Patton shifted uncomfortably and brushed a strand of grey hair out of his face. 

Wait. Grey? 

Virgil's anger turned white-hot. 

"Remus." 

Patton let out a laugh, and two seconds later the duke was standing in front of him. 

"Oops!" He said. "I guess the cat's out of the bag!" 

Suddenly Roman was holding a sword, "Get out of here, you ghastly fiend." 

Remus looked insulted, "Ghastly fiend?" He said. "Come on Roman, I'm much worse than that." He turned to Virgil. "Well it's been fun, but it's time for me to go. I have some things to prepare." He smiled cruelly. "But don't worry, I wasn't lying to you. I meant what I said." 

Then he turned and walked up to Janus. Roman tried to intercept him, but his brother simply pushed him aside. Remus smiled down at Janus who, to Virgil's surprise, didn't try to step away. Instead he crossed his arms and glared coldly at the duke. 

"Well?" He said. "Are you going to leave or not?" 

Remus laughed, "You're getting feisty!" He reached out and stroked Janus's face. "Don't worry. You won't be like that for long." 

Then he disappeared. 

Janus let out a sigh of relief, "He left surprisingly easily." 

Virgil nodded, "Well at least it wasn't Patton. If it was actually him saying that stuff. . . "

"What did he say to you?" 

"It's not important." 

Janus looked like he was about to say something but Roman interrupted him, "We probably shouldn't have taken so long." 

"Yeah." Virgil's eyes drifted to Roman. He could almost hear Remus's words in his head. 

_ Him and Roman seem to have been getting along well.  _

"Virgil?" Asked Roman. "Are you okay? You're looking at me weirdly."

Virgil shook himself out of his thoughts, "Yeah. I'm fine. It's nothing." 

Janus frowned. 

_ Stupid.  _ Virgil chided himself.  _ He can tell if you're lying.  _

"Roman?" Said Janus. 

"Yeah?" 

"I want to talk to Virgil alone."

Roman glanced between them, then nodded quickly and nearly ran from the room.

Janus walked up to Virgil and took his hands, "What did Remus say? I can tell it's bothering you." 

"He told me to break up with you." Virgil blurted. 

Janus's eyes widened. He let go of Virgil's hands and took a step back, "Well, if you want to- " He began quietly. 

"No!" Said Virgil, snatching his hands back. "No, of course I don't want to. It's just. . . Hearing it from Patton was weird." 

Janus nodded, "Alright. But there was something else, wasn't there?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because it still doesn't explain why you were looking at Roman weirdly." 

Virgil sighed, "Well he mentioned that maybe Roman would be better for you."

Janus stared at him, then he started to laugh. 

"What?" Asked Virgil. 

"Roman?" Said Janus in disbelief. "Oh, God no." He frowned. "That sounded mean. Don't get me wrong, he's great, but I've never thought of him like that." He blinked. "Well there was that one time." 

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him, "What are you not telling me?" 

"It was one time." Janus said quickly. "It's not important."

Virgil crossed his arms, "You are definitely telling me about this later." 

Janus looked modified, "I am definitely not telling you about this later." 

Virgil sighed. "Eventually." 

"Maybe." 

"Now I'm curious." 

"Too bad." 

Virgil rolled his eyes, "Alright. But there seriously isn't anything. . . " He sighed. "I don't know. I think Remus made me paranoid." 

Janus cupped Virgil's face in his hands. "Virgil." He said. "My love. Listen to me. I love you, okay? And I'm not going to stop anytime soon." 

Virgil laughed, "You're making it sound like a threat." 

"It is." 

Virgil kissed him quickly, "I love you too." 

"You better. I didn't go through years of agony for nothing." 

Virgil frowned, "Is loving me really that painful?"

"Yes."

He paused, "Sorry?" 

Janus smiled, "You don't need to apologize. Other than for, you know. Leaving me."

"Oh my god."

Janus began to laugh, and pretty quickly Virgil joined in.

Janus straightened up, "Don't worry, don't worry, I'm over that." He paused. "Mostly."

"Janus!" 

"Come on, I can never forgive you completely." Janus said, then immediately pulled Virgil into another kiss. 

When they finally broke apart Virgil brushed Janus's hair out of his eyes. 

"I love you." He said again. 

Janus smiled, "Do you? I don't think you mentioned that yet." 

Virgil rolled his eyes, "Oh, shut up." 

* * *

The next day Virgil was walking through the halls. Patton had dragged Janus off to do something earlier, and now he was trying to find the two of them. They hadn't been in Patton's room, so he walked to the living room. 

"Patton, there you are." 

Patton looked up from the couch, "Hi, kiddo!" 

"Hi. Do you know where Janus is? I thought he was with you." 

Patton shrugged, "We finished some time ago. He said he was going to you." 

Virgil stared at him, "You let him go alone?" 

Patton smiled sheepishly, "He insisted. He said something about needing to prove that he can take care of himself." Patton's smile melted when he saw Virgil's expression. "I'm sure he's fine. He's probably in his room." 

He stood up and walked over to Virgil, "Let's go check together, okay?" 

The two of them walked to Janus's room and knocked. There was no answer. Virgil pushed the door open and found the room empty. 

Patton frowned, "Maybe he's with Roman. The two of them have been hanging out a lot." 

Virgil closed the door. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm just overreacting." 

Patton put his hand on Virgil's shoulder, "It's okay to be worried. Let's go find Roman." 

When they rounded the corner they ended up finding something else. Not Roman, and not Janus. Instead, lying in the middle of the hall, was a black bowler hat. 

Patton stared at it. "That's. . . That's not good." 

Virgil walked over and picked it up, no longer trying to push down his anger and worry. 

"Remus." 


	6. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please mind the warnings and tags.

Janus woke up to find his hands tied behind his back. He sat up and looked around. He was in a tower. Outside of the window he could see an all too familiar green sky. 

He felt his heart rate begin to speed up. 

_It's fine._ He tried to assure himself. _Virgil will come find me any minute. Or Roman. Or someone._

"They're not going to find you." Said a voice to his right. 

He spun around to see Remus walking towards him. 

"I made sure we're hidden well." Remus continued. "No one's gonna get here unless I want them to." 

Janus tried to muster up his courage. "Let me go." He demanded. 

Remus laughed. "Are you trying to sound intimidating?" He knelt down and stroked Janus's face. "You're shaking, sweetheart."

Janus jerked his face away from him, "Don't call me that." He snapped.

Remus pouted, "Why not? It's such a cute name."

Janus glared at him. 

Remus laughed again. "You know, it was funny to see you stand up to me yesterday. Just a few days ago you would have been terrified!" 

Janus stayed silent. 

That turned out to be a mistake. Remus grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head into the floor. Janus let out a whimper of pain. 

"That should teach you not to ignore me when I talk." Remus said. 

Janus carefully sat up and nodded. 

"You're learning already!" 

Janus took a deep breath, "What are you planning to do to me?" 

Remus looked taken aback, "You really think I would ruin the surprise? What do you take me for?" 

Janus decided not to answer that question. Instead he asked another one 

"Why are you doing any of this? The first time you said you were bored, but that can't possibly still be the reason."

Remus's face hardened, "I'm not giving you an explanation. And if you're trying to keep me talking so that I don't do anything, it's not going to work." 

Janus tried to keep his composure. A million thoughts were racing through his head. 

_What could possibly be his motivation? There must be a greater reason for it._

_How can I stop him?_

"Remus." He began carefully. "If I ever did anything to hurt you, I'm sorry. We can talk this out. You don't need to- "

"How would you know what I need to do?" Remus interrupted him. "You hardly know anything about me." 

Janus blinked. "That's not true." 

This time Remus took out a knife and slashed him across the face. Janus cried out as he fell backwards again. Remus grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yanked him back up. 

He examined the cut in his face and smiled, "You look good like that." 

Janus didn't try to pull himself away. Instead he looked up and tried to meet Remus's eyes. 

"Remus, please." He said quietly. "Whatever you're planning, please don't. . . " His voice died as Remus started to laugh. 

"Look at you, begging for me not to do anything. You're pathetic." Remus cupped Janus's face in his hands. "Don't worry, sweetheart, what I'm planning won't hurt too much." 

"It won't?" Said Janus. "Why should I believe you?" 

Remus raised an eyebrow, "Believe me? Come on, Janus. We both know you're the liar here."

Janus took a breath, "What are you planning to do?" He asked again.

Remus didn't respond. Instead he reached down and began to trace his fingers along Janus's thigh. 

Janus froze as a horrifying realization struck him. "No." He said, terror creeping into his voice. "Please don't. You can do anything, just not that. I don't want- " 

"When has what you wanted mattered?" Snapped Remus. "Seriously, has it ever mattered to anyone?" 

Janus was silent for a moment. Then he spoke, "It mattered to Virgil." 

Remus's eyes filled with anger, "Him? Really? All of this, and your mind is still on him?" He laughed. "Alright, maybe it matters to him now, but give it time. It'll be just like last time."

"It won't." 

Remus smiled cruelly, "What, did he say that? Please, he's almost as big of a liar as you!" He 

Remus reached forward and pulled Janus into a kiss. Janus froze. As much as he wanted to pull away, he couldn't.

When Remus finally stopped, Janus was gasping for air, "Please don't do that." He managed. 

Remus smiled, "Why? Is it because your darling Virgil does that?" 

Janus didn't answer him. 

Remus laughed, "I guess that's a yes." 

He reached down and began to unbutton Janus's shirt. Janus tried to move away from him and ended up falling backwards into the ground. 

Remus smiled and climbed on top of him, "I think I like you in this position better."

Janus could feel tears start to sting his eyes, "Please, Remus." He said quietly. "Please stop."

Remus laughed, "Stop? You think I'll stop?" He smiled down at Janus. "I'm sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but I'm not stopping. I don't care how long it takes. I'm not gonna stop until you're screaming my name." 

* * *

A few hours later Virgil found him. He was huddled in a corner with his hands untied, his shirt messily buttoned, and the cut on his face still bleeding. 

Virgil rushed over and fell to his knees next to him, "Janus, I'm sorry." He said in a panicked voice. "We were all looking, but the tower was gone for hours. It finally materialized but. . . " His voice died in his throat. 

Janus was simply staring into space, his eyes unfocused. He didn't look like he was even registering what was being said to him. 

"Janus?" Virgil asked softly. 

He reached out to take his hand, and Janus's eyes filled with terror. He flinched away and nearly fell over, then finally looked up at Virgil.

Virgil took a step away from him, "Sorry." He said. He was about to ask if he was okay, then thought better of it. "What happened?" He asked instead. 

Janus looked away from him and didn't say anything. Virgil opened his mouth to speak and he saw Janus tense up, as if expecting a blow. 

Virgil felt as if someone was slowly tearing at his heart. 

_What did he do to him?_

"Janus?" He asked softly. 

Janus's eyes flickered to him. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" 

Janus nodded. 

"We should get out of here."

He nodded again. 

"Can you stand?"

Another nod. 

They walked down the stairs together. Virgil was careful to not get too close to him. They finally made it out of the tower and Virgil scanned their surroundings. 

"It looks like we're safe." 

Of course, he got no answer. 

By the time that they got to Janus's room, he still hadn't said a word. They had passed Logan on the hall, who had gone to inform the others that Janus was safe, and that Virgil would get them at some point later. 

Virgil picked up Janus's hat from the bed and handed it to him, "Patton and I found this in the hall." 

Janus nodded, but didn't take it. Virgil put it down then sat down with Janus on the bed. 

"We should take care of the cut on your face." He said gently. 

Janus nodded and Virgil stood up to get a washcloth and bandages. He returned and sat back down. 

"Do you want me to do it?" Asked Virgil. 

He got a nod. He carefully began to clean the cut. Janus tensed up as soon as Virgil got near him, but nodded for him to continue. When he was done bandaging it, Virgil moved away from him slightly. 

"Is there anything else?" He asked. 

Janus didn't answer him. 

"Janus?" 

Janus turned to him, but didn't meet his eyes. 

"Is there anywhere else I need to bandage?" He asked. 

Janus shrugged. 

Virgil frowned, "You don't know?"

Janus finally spoke, "It's not that bad, but I think it was bleeding at some point. I don't know." 

Virgil stared at him. He could hardly process his voice. He was speaking quietly, almost as if he was scared to make any loud noises, and his throat sounded hoarse. 

"Alright." Said Virgil, coming out of his shock. "Should I check?"

Janus nodded. 

"Where is it?" 

Janus paused. "I. . . " He glanced away. "It's really not that bad. You don't need to."

"If it was bleeding, I probably should." Virgil said softly. "But if you don't want me to, then I won't." 

"It's not that." Janus said quickly. "It's just- " He doubled over into a coughing fit. 

Virgil quickly ran to get him a glass of water. Janus took it with a nod and drained half the glass. He carefully set it down on the table. 

"So where is it?" Asked Virgil. 

Janus looked like he was considering his answer. He took a deep breath, "My shoulder."

"Which one?" 

"I think the left was the one that was bleeding." 

Virgil nodded. He paused. "I'm going to have to unbutton part of your shirt to get to it. Is that okay?" 

Janus nodded. Virgil reached forward to get to the buttons and Janus froze. 

Virgil pulled his hands back, "Janus, if you don't want me to, we can always take a look later." 

"No." Said Janus. "You should. . . You should probably see." 

"Alright." 

Virgil once again reached forward. He unbuttoned the first two buttons and pulled the color of Janus's shirt to the side to reveal his shoulder. 

He let out a small gasp. There was a still bleeding stab wound on Janus's shoulder, but that wasn't the most shocking part. All around it were purple and pink bruises. They almost looked like. . . 

"Janus?" Said Virgil, his voice growing steady as his anger rose. "What did he do to you?" 

Janus didn't answer him. He looked like he was trying not to cry. 

There was only one coherent thought in Virgil's head. _I'm going to kill him. I'm going to find Remus, and I'm going to kill him._

_But not right now._

"Janus?" He said, softer this time. "Do you want to tell me?" 

Tears spilled out of Janus's eyes. Virgil wanted to reach out to hug him, but stopped himself.

"Janus?" He asked again. 

"I told him to stop." Said Janus. "I kept telling him to stop but he- " He put his head in his hands and continued to sob. "I'm sorry." 

Virgil stared at him, "What? You don't have anything to apologize for."

"But I. . . I'm with you and I. . . " He choked on his words. 

Understanding dawned on Virgil. "Oh God, Janus. . . " He reached out but stopped himself again. "Janus, no. It's not your fault. You tried to stop him. But. . . " He paused. "Do you want me to hug you? Or something? If you don't, that's- "

Janus interrupted him by grabbing him and pulling him as close as he could. 

"I'm sorry." He sobbed again.

"Shh, it's okay." Virgil assured him. "It's not your fault. You don't need to be sorry for anything." 

Janus nodded. 

"It's going to be okay." Virgil said.

"Really?"

"Eventually it will be. I promise." 

Virgil held him until he fell asleep. Then he carefully set him down and bandaged his shoulder. He pulled the covers over him, walked over to the door, and opened it to find Patton, Roman, and Logan standing outside. 

"How is he doing?" Asked Patton. 

"He's sleeping now." Virgil informed him. "We can talk inside the room, just don't be too loud." 

He led them inside and they sat at the foot of Janus's bed. 

Patton glanced worriedly at Janus's sleeping form, "I shouldn't have let him go alone." 

"We already talked about this." Said Logan. "Remus would have gotten to him whether or not you were there.

Patton sighed, "I know, but still." 

Roman nudged him, "Well look at it this way, he doesn't look too badly bandaged up this time. That's good, right?" He looked at Virgil for confirmation. "Right?" 

Virgil didn't meet his eyes, "The visible wounds really aren't the worst of it." 

Roman blinked, "They're not? What did he do that's worse?" 

Virgil took a shaky breath, then in a quiet voice, told them what had happened. By the time he finished Patton looked like he was about to cry, Logan looked shocked, and Roman looked so angry his expression was starting to scare Virgil.

Patton glanced over at Janus, "I can't believe Remus would do that."

"I can."

Everyone turned to Roman.

Patton looked concerned, "Roman?" He asked. "You look like- "

Roman hardly heard him. His attention was on Virgil. "We're making him pay for this, right?" His tone made it obvious that it was hardly a question.

Virgil nodded, "Obviously. We can't let him get away with it."

Roman glared at the ground, "So what will we do?" 

Virgil looked over at Janus. "Remus caused him so much pain. I want him to feel the same thing."

Patton's eyes moved from one of them to the other. "Well. . . " He started, then stopped, as if he was carefully considering his words. "Don't get me wrong, Remus can't be allowed to do this and have no consequences, but. . . " He glanced around at them. "I don't know. I feel like whatever you do shouldn't be purely out of vengeance." 

Virgil glared at him, "Would you rather we do nothing?"

Patton's eyes widened, "Of course not! I just meant- "

"Patton?" This time it was Logan who spoke. 

Patton blinked, "Yeah?"

"It's alright. I'm pretty sure they know that's not what you meant."

Patton nodded. 

Logan turned to the other two, "And you two. You're getting ahead of yourselves."

Roman looked like he was about to interject but Logan held up his hand for silence. 

"Let me speak." He said, then began again. "We all know that Remus must have some consequence, but you two can't just run off to enact vengeance on him. It probably won't work."

Roman crossed his arms, "So what do we do?" 

Logan sighed, "This is a very tricky situation. Obviously he can't die, and we have no prison system, but. . . " He paused. "This is only a suggestion, but we can banish him to his side of the imagination." 

Patton blinked, "Can we do that?"

Logan shrugged, "I don't see why not. I'm sure we can stop him from entering any part other than that, so that would effectively make him stuck. Also, it wouldn't affect his role in Thomas's mind, so there would be no considerable consequences for anyone else." 

Roman frowned, "That could work. So when do we do it?" 

Logan glanced at Janus. "We should give it some time. Janus should have the final say."

Virgil nodded, "You're right. But I don't think he'll be up for that conversation for some time."

"Right. We shouldn't rush him." Roman agreed quickly. 

Logan frowned, "Alright, but we shouldn't put it off for too long." 

"Right." Agreed Virgil.

Patton sighed. 

"Is everything alright?" Logan asked.

Patton shrugged, "I'm just worried."

"About?"

Patton smiled, "Janus, who else?" 

"Oh. Of course." Logan glanced over at the sleeping side. "He'll take a while to heal."

Virgil reached out and brushed Janus's hair out of his eyes. "Yeah." He paused. "Do you think he'll ever be completely better?"

"No." Logan paused. "Well, maybe. Maybe years from now." He sighed. "It's hard to say."

Patton turned to Logan, "What can we do to help him?"

Logan blinked, "Why are you asking me?" 

Roman laughed softly, "You're the smart one. Why wouldn't we ask you?"

Logan stared at him. Then he smiled slightly. "Right." He paused. "Thank you."

"So do you know what we could do to help him?"

Logan frowned, "Well none of us should get too close to him physically without asking first." He turned to Virgil. "That includes you."

Virgil nodded, "Yeah, I already figured that one out."

"Right." Logan thought for a moment. "We shouldn't leave him alone, but also, we shouldn't act as if he's fragile, since that bothered him before." He turned to Virgil again. "I know you want to constantly protect him, but you can't suffocate him. We have no idea if he will actually tell you if you are."

Virgil sighed, "At this point he probably won't." 

"Anything else?" Asked Patton.

"We need to listen to him." Said Logan. "Hopefully we can get him to the point where he will tell us if something's wrong, instead of us trying to figure it out each time." 

"He was getting better at telling me things." Said Virgil.

"That progress may be gone by now." Said Logan. 

Patton tried to manage a smile, "Let's try to stay positive."

Virgil sighed, "Yeah. Cause that's so easy."

Patton's expression turned back to worry, "That's not what I meant, kiddo. I just mean that. . . I don't know."

Virgil shook his head. "I know. Sorry. I'm just. . . I'm just worried."

Logan nodded. "We all are. You should get some rest."

Virgil looked over at his sleeping boyfriend, "I can't leave him alone."

Logan put his hand on Virgil's shoulder, "I'll watch him." He looked at Roman and Patton. "Make sure that he rests." 

Patton nodded then frowned, "Are you sure you'll be- "

"I'll be fine. I can always get you if he wakes up." 

Virgil didn't look too happy about the idea, "I really think I should stay with him." 

Patton shook his head, "Logan is right, kiddo. You'll wear yourself out." 

"But- "

"I have an idea." Said Roman. "If it makes you feel better I'll stay with Logan here." 

"No." Said Logan. "Too many people will overwhelm him. Do you seriously think I'm incapable of taking care of someone?"

Roman blinked, "Well, not exactly, it's just- "

"I'm the calmest here." Interrupted Logan. "Other than Virgil, I'm probably the next best person to look after him."

Patton smiled, "You're worrying too much, Roman." He stood up. "Come on, you two. Let's go."

Virgil and Roman grudgingly followed Patton out of the room. 

As soon as they were gone, Logan pulled up a chair, took a book from Janus's shelf, and waited. 

* * *

A few hours later Janus woke up. He sat up and looked at Logan in confusion. 

"Virgil's resting." Explained Logan.

Janus nodded and didn't say anything.

"How are you feeling?" 

A shrug.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

Janus shook his head.

"Are you lying to me?" 

Janua blinked. A ghost of a smile flickered across his face. 

Logan nodded, "Whatever you say. If you need anything just tell me."

Another nod. 

There was a moment of silence. 

"Janus?" Asked Logan. "I want you to try something."

Janus glanced up at him.

"I've noticed that you can't maintain eye contact. I want you to try to."

Janus looked confused for a moment. Then he nodded. He looked up at Logan's face. After a moment he looked away again. 

"It's alright." Said Logan. "Would you like to try again?" 

Janus nodded and looked up. This time he managed for a few seconds. 

"That was a lot better." Commented Logan.

Janus smiled slightly. 

"You've been very silent." Logan added. "May I ask why?"

"I. . . " Janus began. He shrugged helplessly. "I don't know."

"Do you feel scared to talk?"

Janus frowned, "Maybe. I don't know."

"I have a feeling that you do know."

Janus stared at the floor. 

"You understand that none of us will hurt you, right?" 

Janus blinked. "Yes. Of course. Why?" 

Logan didn't seem to believe him. "Remus may have hurt you if you said the wrong thing." He continued. "But that will not happen with any of us."

"I know."

"Do you?" 

"I. . . " Janus didn't meet his eyes. 

"Even if you logically know that none of us would do anything like that, you could still have an underlying fear of it for quite some time. Maybe forever."

Janus sighed, "How would you know?" 

Logan shrugged, "Virgil told us everything that had happened. It was easy to figure out what you might be feeling."

Janus stared at the ground. "He told you everything?" He asked quietly. 

"Yes."

Janus nodded. 

"Janus?" 

Janus glanced back up at him. 

"Do you understand that none of us will ever hurt you?" 

Janus looked away from him again, "It's not that easy to believe."

"Of course it isn't. But I will still continue to remind you of it."

"Right."

There was a moment of silence. 

"Would you like me to get Virgil?" Asked Logan. "He'll want to know how you're doing."

Janus didn't answer.

Logan frowned, "I take it you don't want me to get him?"

Janus blinked, "I. . . I didn't say that."

"But you don't want him here, do you?"

No answer. 

"You obviously don't. Is there a reason?" 

Unsurprisingly, he didn't get a response.

Logan frowned, "Is there some connection between him and Remus? You two were together before he left the dark sides, right? Perhaps it was something that happened then?" 

"Logan?" 

"Yes?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now." 

Logan nodded, "Alright. Sorry for prying." 

"It's fine." 

"It's not. You have to stop lying about that."

"Sorry." 

"There's no need to apologize." 

Janus paused, he looked like he was considering something. "About Virgil. . . " He started. 

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it?" 

"Yeah, but I don't want you to think he did something as bad as Remus." He stopped. "He didn't do anything even close to that." He added frantically. "He just. . . it wasn't his fault. If I had just told him that I didn't want to then it never would have happened, I just- "

"Janus?" 

Janus stopped talking. 

"You don't need to tell me." 

"But- "

"You don't need to tell me." Logan repeated. 

Janus nodded. 

"Unless you want to." Logan repeated. 

"I don't." 

"Then there you go." 

There was a knock on the door. Logan opened it to find Virgil standing outside. 

"Can I come in?" He asked. 

Logan glanced at Janus, who nodded. Logan let him in, and Virgil walked over to Janus and sat down next to him. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently. 

Janus shrugged. 

"Do you want anything to eat?"

Another shrug.

"We should probably get you something." He looked at Logan. "Can you- "

"No." Janus interrupted. His voice sounded on the edge of panic. 

Virgil blinked, "Do you not want anything to eat?" 

"It's not that, it's just- " He glanced helplessly at Logan. 

He seemed to understand. Logan turned to Virgil, "You should bring some food. I'll stay with him." 

Virgil looked slightly confused, "Alright." He stood up and glanced at the two of them. Then he started to walk towards the door. 

"Wait." Janus said. 

Virgil turned back to him, "Yes?" 

"I. . . " Janus glanced from Virgil to Logan and back again. "I just- I don't want- " 

Virgil walked back over to him, "Sweetheart?" He asked. "What's wrong?" 

Janus froze. 

Virgil blinked, "Sorry. I shouldn't have- "

"It's fine." 

"It's clearly not." Said Logan. 

"What's wrong?" Asked Virgil. 

Janus didn't say anything. He looked at Logan. "Logan? Can you. . . " He glanced at the door. 

Logan nodded, "Of course." In a moment he was gone. 

Virgil turned to Janus, "Are you alright?"

Janus shook his head, "That name. . . " He began. He took a deep breath. "Remus called me that. Several times." 

"Oh." 

Janus stared at the ground. "I'm sorry." 

"Sorry?" Virgil blinked, "You have nothing to be sorry for." 

"But I. . . I don't know." 

Virgil paused, "Would it be alright if I kissed you? I just. . . I don't know how to comfort you and. . . "

Janus seemed to consider it, then shook his head. "No. I don't think I can. . . eventually. But not yet. 

"Of course." Virgil reached out and took his hand. "Does this work for now?" 

Janus managed a small smile. "Yes." 


	7. Reunion

A few days later, the five of them were having breakfast together.

"How are you feeling, Janus?" Asked Patton.

Janus shrugged, "A bit better."

Virgil smiled. It was obvious how much better he was doing. His voice had gotten steadier, he was speaking more often and his eyes didn't flicker around the room like he was expecting an attack every moment. He was able to maintain eye contact as well. And he was smiling more often. 

Virgil squeezed his hand under the table and caused a quick smile to flicker over his face. 

Suddenly Roman stood up, "I have an idea." He announced. "Let's watch a Disney movie."

Janus sighed, "Isn't that the majority of your ideas?" 

And he was making fun of Roman. That was always a good sign. 

Roman looked offended, "Of course not! Just most of them!"

"Well I think it's a great idea!" Interjected Patton. He looked over at Janus and Virgil. "I mean, if you two want to."

It was always 'you two' now. Never just Janus, and never just Virgil. They were basically inseparable at this point, and Virgil was perfectly okay with that.

"Sounds fun." said Virgil. He turned to Janus. "What do you think?" 

Janus shrugged, "As long as it's not The Little Mermaid."

Roman looked taken aback, "What do you have against The Little Mermaid?"

Janus frowned, "I never understood it. Why would someone want to give up their voice just to be with some prince?"

Roman looked like he was going to faint, "It was for true love!" 

Janus shook his head, "But to give up your voice? The two of them weren't communicating at all. She couldn't even express what she wanted, or what she. . . didn't want."

"But it was- " Roman sighed. "They loved each other."

Janus crossed his arms, "Did they? How? Maybe she knew him a bit, but he hardly knew anything about her. How could that possibly be true love?"

Virgil put his hand on Janus's shoulder, "Janus?"

"Yes?"

"It's obvious you feel strongly about this, and as much as I like annoying Roman, maybe now isn't the best time."

Janus sighed, "Fine." 

Roman pouted, "You only listen to Virgil."

Patton laughed, "Come on guys, help me clean up and then we can watch." 

* * *

A few hours later they had finished watching Mulan. Logan said he had something he needed to do and left, then Patton ran after him to make sure he didn't overwork himself. 

Roman turned to the other two, "What do you guys want to do?"

Janus shrugged.

Roman thought for a moment, "Well, how about- "

He was interrupted by a voice near the door, "Did you seriously replace me with Roman? I can't say I'm surprised."

The three of them spun around to see Remus. 

Janus's eyes widened and he took several steps back, nearly tripping over his own feat.

Virgil felt his anger rise, turning white hot.

"Roman?" He said, his voice deadly steady. "Take Janus and get out of here." 

Roman nodded, then took Janus's hand and the two of them disappeared. 

Remus laughed, "Still trying to protect him? I thought you would have given up by now."

Virgil didn't answer. Instead he walked up to Remus, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him against the wall.

Something like fear flashed across Remus's face, but he hid it quickly with his smile.

"Wow, you're really angry, aren't you?" 

Virgil glared at him, "Of course I am. Did you really think you would get away with any of this?"

Remus simply laughed, "Of course I will! You're not strong enough to do anything!"

"I am."

"Then why haven't you done it yet?"

Virgil faltered. 

Remus laughed again, "Are you scared of what your precious Janus will think of you?"

"I- "

Remus pushed him away and took a step from the wall. "Why are you so mad, anyway?" He asked. "It's not like I hurt you."

"You hurt him."

Remus pouted with false sympathy, "Are you angry I tainted your little plaything?"

Virgil's fists clenched, "Plaything? He's not a plaything."

"Sure he is." Said Remus. "You'll be entertained by him for a while, and then you'll throw him away again. Just like last time."

"I- " Virgil stared at him. "I didn't throw him away."

Remus shrugged, "You did. At least I stayed with him."

"You hurt him." 

"And you didn't?"

Virgil tried to clear his head.  _ He's messing with me.  _ He reminded himself.  _ I can't listen to him. _

_ But he's right.  _

"Not like you did."

Remus laughed, "Oh sure, you didn't hurt him physically. But you left a lasting scar on him. You didn't see him after you left." He laughed. "You should've. He was miserable. He hardly would even talk to me. He just kept hugging your old sweater and staring blankly into space." 

_ Staring into space? That sounds like how he was after Remus-  _

"No. You're lying to me."

"I'm not."

"But I. . . I was right to leave. I had to. You didn't have to do any of this."

Remus laughed, "Maybe I did! You wouldn't know."

Virgil glared at him, "So tell me."

Remus smiled. "Alright, I will. But not without Janus here."

"No." 

"No?" Remus sighed. "Fine. Let's see what will happen if I lie. That should summon him, right?"

Virgil's eyes widened, "Don't." 

"You can't stop me."

Remus waved a hand, and suddenly Virgil was sitting in a chair made from bones, his hands tied behind his back. 

Remus smiled, "Perfect. Now, as I was saying, I always admired you, Virgil."

Virgil blinked, "You did?" 

"Sure."

_ Oh. He's lying.  _

"I loved how loyal you were." Remus continued. "And how much you cared about your friends. How you would never abandon them." 

Virgil glared at him, "Shut up."

"You know what else I loved? How you treated Janus. It was so clear that you really loved him. Almost as much as he loved you!" 

Suddenly Janus was standing next to Virgil. His eyes locked on Remus.

Remus walked up to him and grabbed the front of his shirt. 

"Let go of him." Virgil snarled. 

Remus smiled, then dragged Janus in front of him and pulled him into a kiss.

Janus froze. His eyes widened. 

Remus let go of him and pushed him to the ground. He smiled at Virgil. 

"Look at that!" He said. "He didn't even fight back!" 

Virgil looked over at Janus, who was curled up on the floor, his eyes staring at nothing. 

_ He was smiling this morning. _

He turned back to Remus. "Let us go."

Remus pretended to think about it, "How about no?"

He snapped his fingers and Janus was sitting on a chair next to Virgil, his hands bound in a similar fashion. He swallowed. Virgil could see his breathing start to quicken. 

"Remus." Said Virgil. "At least let him go. You can do whatever you want with me."

Janus's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically.

Remus smiled, "Listen to your boyfriend, Virgil."

He summoned a throne for himself and sat down. "Now." He said. "I'm going to tell you a story."

Virgil stared at him, "What?" 

Remus smiled, "You wanted to know why I did all this, didn't you? Well for that, we need to start at the beginning. Once upon a time there was a boy. And this boy had two friends. One of them," his gaze fell on Janus, "He loved very much."

Janus didn't meet his eyes, "You never loved me." He said quietly. 

Remus glared at him, "I'm telling the story, not you." He smiled and continued. "Now one day, his two friends started dating, and then, they didn't need him anymore. They spent time together, and they forgot about him."

Virgil glared at him, "We didn't forget about you."

Remus raised an eyebrow at him, "Didn't you? You two were so preoccupied with each other that you didn't have any time for me. Now as time went on those two started to fight. They had more and more arguments. And how do you think that boy felt? He had to listen to his two friends yell at each other and he couldn't do anything about it. Every night they would argue and he would sit on his bed, trying to block out the noise. It never worked."

"Remus?" Janus's voice was barely audible. 

Remus sighed, "What is it this time?" 

Janus paused, "I'm sorry. I should have paid attention to you, and I shouldn't have- "

"Save it." Snapped Remus. 

Janus flinched and stared at the ground.

"He's trying to apologise!" Said Virgil. "The least you could do is listen to him!" 

Remus laughed, "Listen to him? My whole life I've been listening to him! And do you know what it's always about? You."

Virgil blinked. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" Remus stood up and glared down at him. "After you left, he was devastated, and I had to take care of him!"

Virgil glared at him, "Well at least you did for once."

Remus looked like he was about to punch him, then he laughed. He sat back down, "Well should I continue the story, or have I said enough?"

"You still didn't tell us why you did any of this." Said Virgil.

Remus smiled, "Right. Well I was thinking. My whole life," his gaze drifted to Janus, "you're mind was only on Virgil."

"Not always." Said Janus quietly.

Remus laughed, "You're right. Not  _ those  _ times. But even then, I'm pretty sure you loved him."

Virgil blinked, "What times?"

Remus smiled slowly. "You never told him?"

Janus didn't answer. 

Remus laughed, "I guess we can get to that later."

"So why did you do it?" Virgil asked again.

Remus smiled. "As I said, his mind was nearly always on you. I didn't like that. I wanted him to think about me, for once. So," he looked straight at Janus, "I decided to make sure that you could never forget me. I made sure that no matter what, I'd always be in the back of your mind, haunting you." 

Virgil stared at him, "You're horrible."

Remus laughed, "Oh, I'm worse than that." He turned to Janus, "But it worked, didn't it? Every time someone tries to get near you, you think of me. And the best part?" He smiled. "Virgil won't be able to kiss you without those memories coming back to your head. Even when you're with him, I'll still be on your mind."

Janus's eyes were unfocused. He wasn't responding to anything Remus was saying. 

Remus smiled cruelly, "It's funny isn't it? Both Virgil and I are just regrets on your list."

Virgil blinked, "What?"

Remus laughed, "Oh, right! You don't know! Well, Virgil. Before you and Janus were even together, him and I had a sort of. . . Well, not a relationship exactly. It was more of a one time thing. Although it was definitely more than once."

At this point Virgil wasn't surprised anymore. He had always suspected that there had once been something between them, although he had never asked. 

"Alright." He said. "So what?" 

Remus shrugged, "I just think it's funny. You, me, Roman. We're all just one big regret for him."

"Roman?" 

Remus sighed, "Does he tell you nothing? Yes, Roman. That was after you left."

"But. . . " Virgil glanced at Janus, who wasn't meaning his eyes. "Was that the same situation?"

Remus nodded, "Well there it was actually a one time thing." He looked at Janus. "Too bad he ended up thinking you manipulated him." 

Janus didn't answer him.

Remus smiled, "Well now it seems like you two are getting along. We'll see how long that lasts."

"How long are you going to keep us here?" Asked Virgil.

Remus looked surprised at the question, "As long as I want." He said. He pointed to the door. "Your friends are trying to get in, but it won't work." 

"Why not let them?" Asked Virgil. "Are you scared?"

Remus laughed, "Scared? No, this is fun! I like having a little reunion."

"It's not a reunion."

"Sure it is!" Remus stood up and walked over to Janus. "Look at you. You can barely speak when I'm here. I wonder what that would be like. Not being able to say anything."

Janus looked up at him and slowly met his eyes, "Let us go."

Remus laughed, "Why should I? It's fun having you under my control. You're completely helpless."

"I'm not helpless."

Remus looked amused, "What was that, sweetheart?"

"I'm not helpless." 

There was a flash, and suddenly the chairs and ropes holding him and Virgil down were gone. 

Janus glared at Remus, his eyes filled with pure hate.

Remus took a step back, but still managed to smile, "Trying to fight back?" He asked. "We both know you can't. You're too weak."

Then something happened. Janus screamed, and a wave of memories flooded over Virgil. He saw Remus looking down at him with a knife in his hands, he felt something sharp stabbing through his hands, he felt his ribs breaking, he saw Remus unbuttoning his shirt, he saw other things that he didn't even want to describe, and he felt fear. Crushing, suffocating fear. He felt as if his throat was closing up, as if dying would be better than being scared. And there was something else. He saw himself. He saw himself growing distant, slowly leaving. He saw himself calling Janus a liar, saying that he never cared about him. And worst of all he saw an empty room with his old, black and grey hoodie, lying on the floor. 

He felt tears spill from his eyes. His knees hit the floor as he buckled over into a fit of sobbs. It was as if someone was piercing his heart with a cold dagger. 

The numbness was even worse than the fear.

_ This is everything that Janus felt.  _ He realized.  _ How did he bear it?  _

_ He had no choice.  _ Came the response.

Finally his vision cleared. He was kneeling on the floor, tears still dripping from his face. Across the room he could see Remus sobbing. Somehow he had managed to stay standing. 

He looked up to see Janus standing next to him. His gaze was fixed on Remus. There was no sympathy in his eyes.

Remus looked up, "You. . . " His voice died in his throat. 

"Well?" Asked Janus.

Remus dried his tears and glared at him. "I don't care." He said. "I don't care if you were hurt. I did my job. You'll never forget me again."

Janus's eyes turned pure yellow. "You said that you wanted to know how it felt to be silenced." He said.

His voice sent a shiver down Virgil's spine. 

Janus stepped forward and placed Remus's hands over his mouth, "Now you will." 

There was a noise. It sounded like a million people talking at the same time. And then it was gone. 

Janus's eyes returned to normal and he stepped back towards Virgil. 

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. 

That's when Roman, Logan, and Patton burst into the room. They stumbled to a stop and took on the scene in front of them. Virgil was kneeling on the floor with tears in his eyes, Janus was standing next to him, regarding Remus with a cold expression on his face, and Remus. . . Remus looked scared. 

Roman's eyes drifted from one person to another, "What happened?"

Remus tried to speak, but again, it didn't work.

Patton frowned, "Why can't he- "

"I silenced him." Janus's voice was devoid of emotion. 

Patton stared at him, "You. . . You what?" 

"I took his voice away."

Patton took a careful step away from him, "Oh." He said quietly.

Logan looked over at Remus, "So what now?"

Remus looked around, then pushed past the three light sides and ran from the room. 

Roman glanced back at Virgil, "I'll get him." He said, and then he was gone. 

Virgil slowly stood up and turned to Janus. "Janus?" He said in a quiet voice. 

Janus turned to him and the fire in his eyes died. 

"Janus I. . . " Virgil slowly took his hand. "When you did that. . . thing, I saw. . . " His voice faltered as his eyes landed on Logan and Patton. 

Janus smiled slightly, "Sorry about that." He said. Then he collapsed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter left! Although it's more of an epilogue than anything.


	8. A Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliff hanger last time.   
> Anyway, here is the final chapter!

Janus woke up to see Virgil, Roman, Logan, and Patton sitting next to his bed.

"How are you feeling?" Virgil asked him immediately.

Janus sat up and smiled, "A lot better."

Virgil blinked, "Really?" 

"Somehow, yes." Janus shrugged. "Maybe because I got all that out."

Logan frowned, "Got what out? What exactly happened back there?"

Janus sighed, "I guess we should probably tell you. But before that, what happened to Remus?"

Roman glanced away from him, "I caught up to him at the entrance to his imagination. But he. . . He slipped away. And when I tried to get in it was sealed."

Janus frowned, "He ran away. That's very weird for him."

"We should make sure he can't come back." Said Logan. "We were going to do that anyway."

Janus blinked, "You were what?"

Logan looked around at the others, "Did none of you have that conversation with him?" 

The other three shook their heads.

Logan sighed, "I can't say I'm surprised. Well to explain, some time ago we were trying to figure out what to do with Remus. We decided that it might be best to seal him in his part of the imagination. We were supposed to talk to you about that, but I guess it never happened."

"Oh." Janus frowned. "Well I don't think that will be necessary. He's not coming back."

Virgil blinked, "How do you know that? He said that he didn't care that you were hurt."

"He was lying." Stated Janus. "Partially."

"But how do you know he won't come back?" Asked Patton.

"Why should he? There's nothing for him here."

Logan shrugged, "You could be right. We will see with time." 

"Well now that that's out of the way, are you gonna tell us what happened?" Asked Roman.

"Right." Said Virgil. He took Janus's hand, "Should I? Or do you want to?"

"I'll do it." Janus glanced around at Roman, Logan, and Patton. "When Remus somehow pulled me into that room, he told us why he did. . . everything."

Roman leaned forward, "And why was it?" 

Janus glanced at Virgil, "That's private." He decided. "Perhaps we'll tell you eventually, but not now. For now it's between him, me, and Virgil."

Roman nodded, "Alright."

"But what about the rest of it?" Asked Patton. "How did you. . . you know."

Janus sighed, "He said something about. . . it's not important. But I wanted him to understand what I felt. So I managed to make him see all of my memories and emotions."

"I got some of that too." Added Virgil.

Janus winced, "Sorry about that again."

"It's fine."

"And after that," Continued Janus, "I just. . . I don't know. I guess I lost control." He stared down at his blanket. "I wanted him to feel everything I felt. In a way, I wanted it to stay with him forever. Just like it will with me." 

Roman shook his head, "I leave you alone for two minutes, and this is what happens."

Janus rolled his eyes, "It could have been a lot worse. Now if you wouldn't mind, I would like to spend some time with my boyfriend."

Roman nodded, "Obviously." He grabbed Patton and Logan and began pulling them from the room. "Come on, you two. We need to give the lovebirds some space."

He closed the door behind them.

Janus turned to Virgil, "About what happened back there- "

"It's fine." Virgil said quickly. "You didn't mean to make me see all that."

"I'm not talking about that."

"What?"

"I meant. . . " Janus sighed. "What Remus mentioned and him, and about. . . Roman." 

"Oh."

Janus stared at the wall, "I didn't really want to tell you. Especially not about Remus. But I guess in the end I had no choice."

"Hey." Virgil put his hand on Janus's shoulder. "It's okay. It would be ridiculous for me to be mad. We weren't dating either of those times." 

Janus blinked, "You're not mad?"

"Of course not." 

"But. . . Remus mentioned that one time that Roman would be better for me and than for you to hear that him and I- "

"And you also mentioned that there was one time that something happened with Roman." Virgil interrupted. "I'm not that surprised." 

"Oh." Janus smiled. "Well I guess that's good."

Virgil laughed, "Yeah, and the Remus thing didn't surprise me either."

Janus sighed, "I didn't think it would."

"But for the record, you have no taste." 

Janus looked offended, "I'm dating you!"

Virgil shrugged, "Exactly." 

"Virgil!" 

Virgil laughed, "Don't tell Patton I said that. He'll try to fight me."

"He most certainly will." 

Janus pulled Virgil onto his bed and curled up next to him, "So what now?" 

"I don't know." Virgil absentmindedly began petting his hair. 

Janus smiled, "I guess we're free now, right? Remus is gone."

"Hopefully."

Janus sighed, "As Logan said, only time will tell."

* * *

Two months later.

They hadn't heard from Remus since the day that Janus had taken his voice. 

"I guess I was right." Said Janus.

Him and Virgil were sitting on his bed, looking at various books in his collection.

Virgil blinked, "Right about what?"

"Remus. He's not coming back."

"Oh. Right." Virgil sighed and put down his book. "He couldn't even leave a note? You deserve an apology."

Janus laughed, "An apology? That wouldn't exactly suffise."

"Yeah. I guess not."

Janus thought for a moment, "Maybe staying away is his apology."

Virgil frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Think about it. The most helpful thing he could do is not being anywhere near me. If he came back to apologise. . . "

"Right." Virgil crossed his arms. "I still think you deserve at least a note."

Janus shrugged, "I don't think it would be necessary."

"I guess it would seem kind of heartless." Virgil agreed. "Like he was asking for forgiveness."

"Exactly. And that's something that I can't give him."

"That's not something you should give him." Virgil said bitterly. 

Janus kissed him softly, "Calm down. We can't have you going on a vengeful rampage."

Virgil rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to."

"You almost did."

"Yeah, but. . . Whatever." 

Janus laughed, then something crossed his mind and the smile on his face quickly died.

Virgil noticed immediately, "What's wrong?"

"Did he deserve it?"

Virgil looked confused, "What are you talking about?"

Janus sighed, "I don't know. A part of me keeps thinking that maybe he didn't deserve to get his voice taken away."

"Janus, look at me." 

Janus turned to him and met his eyes.

"He deserved that and more, okay?" 

Janus glanced away from him, "You're probably right, but. . . I don't know." 

"What are you thinking?"

Janus struggled to put his thoughts into words, "Maybe I should. . . I don't know, reverse it?"

Virgil stared at him, "Reverse it?" 

Janus shrugged, "Not now. But maybe eventually. When I. . . when I feel better."

Virgil took his hand, "You might never feel completely better."

"Then I'll never reverse it."

Virgil nodded, "I guess it's your choice."

"Yes, it is." 

Janus leaned against Virgil's shoulder, "But we don't have to worry about that now."

"Of course not." Virgil quickly kissed Janus's forehead, and picked up his book again.

Janus closed his eyes. He was happy. Truly happy, for the first time in years. He was surrounded by people who cared for him. He even got Virgil back, and this time things were better. Perhaps there was hope. Perhaps he really could have a happy ending. 

Janus found himself smiling. There were people who cared about him. And for once he wasn't afraid. Maybe one day, not tomorrow, and not the day after, but eventually, he would heal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally over. This started as a one shot and ended up as eight chapters. Which was a little over 58 pages total, might I add.  
> Basically, it's the longest fic I've ever written.


End file.
